TOPIC # 56 A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose?

Art is a very important part of our lives. It expresses our creativity as well as it reflects our beauty and culture. Some people would agree that the company should support the arts. Others would disagree. In my view, the company should use that money to protect environment for two imperative reasons.

To begin with, there are many pollutants that we have action to reduce it. In advent of technology and progresses, a lot of harmful products are produced which have a negative effect on our ecosystem, so we have to manage the resources that add most of pollutants. In fact, cars are sources for gases that affect our health. In addition, plastics, which use them in most of our basis life, have a serious impact on our agriculture because they didn't decompose, and most companies try to buried deep in the ground that leads to affect the soil. All these introduce many problems to our existence and the nature.

Hence, in addition to the pollutants, because we need to wood to use them for building, most forsts are exhausted and leave the land without trees. When governments cut many trees and use their logs for building, a lot of animals will be affected because they destroy their habitats and decreas their reproduction. For example, I read an article about the importance the forests on the environment, the author assert that reduce in forest devastate to us since decrease in release of oxygen and increase carbon dioxide. He adds that also will increase endangered animals and if one species will extinct, this will lead to loss opportunity to save our existence. This book taught me that all we should encourage companies and orginaziation to take care of our planet.

By the way of conclusion, based on the argument above, I concur that this company Should use themoney to save our earth. Not does help to relieve poluttants, but it also save forests and animals from extinction which a veryhard task to reverse. All we should participate to protect and live in safe place.

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

there are many pollutants that we have action to reduce it
Description: 'it' refers to what?

most companies try to buried deep in the ground
most companies try to bury them deep in the ground

Not does help to relieve poluttants, but it also save forests and animals
Not only does it help to relieve pollutants, but it also save forests and animals

All we should participate to protect and live in safe place.
All we should participate to protect and live in a safe place.
All we should participate to protect and live in safe places.

Sentence: He adds that also will increase endangered animals and if one species will extinct, this will lead to loss opportunity to save our existence.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to will and extinct

Sentence: Hence, in addition to the pollutants, because we need to wood to use them for building, most forsts are exhausted and leave the land without trees.
Error: forsts Suggestion: forests

Sentence: When governments cut many trees and use their logs for building, a lot of animals will be affected because they destroy their habitats and decreas their reproduction.
Error: decreas Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: This book taught me that all we should encourage companies and orginaziation to take care of our planet.
Error: orginaziation Suggestion: organization

Sentence: By the way of conclusion, based on the argument above, I concur that this company Should use themoney to save our earth.
Error: themoney Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Not does help to relieve poluttants, but it also save forests and animals from extinction which a veryhard task to reverse.
Error: poluttants Suggestion: pollutant
Error: veryhard Suggestion: very hard

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2

Read a good grammar book. You may read this one: http://testbig.com/question/grammar

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 344 350
No. of Characters: 1608 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.307 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.674 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.503 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.706 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.294 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.493 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.153 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5