In general, people are living longer now. Which of the following do you think accounts for this phenomenon?
Technological improvements
Changes to education systems
Improvements to our diets
Use specific details and examples in your answer. You may choose more than one cause.
Throughout the history of humankind, people endeavored invariably to acquire immortality, or at least, find ways for living longer. Nowadays, people are prone to living more than the past for manifold reasons. Even though some people explicitly state that alterations in education is the main basis of this phenomenon, there are still other people who utterly oppose this stance. From my point of view, the chief reason for this is the development of technology, and I hold this stance for three core arguments, which are elucidated below.
To begin with, it is beyond doubt that not only does technology facilitate lives of humans, but it is also supportive in terms of enhancing medicine by introducing unprecedented devices. In other words, the advances in technology engender improvements in medicine, which make people to be mortal for a long time. A lucid example that sheds the spotlight on this thesis is a prominent device in medicine called MR; this particular equipment is advantageous in terms of determining potential illnesses beforehand, and people commence on utilizing specific drugs in order to suppress the illness from emerging. Moreover, according to a research conducted by an esteemed university, it became evident that MR cures countless number of people each year, and render people to stay alive for a considerably long time.
In addition, although the improvements to our diets prevent us from aging, without technological developments it is not feasible to infer the proper diet. To this say, certain devices engender proper analysis of diets. A compelling example of this argument is my personal experience; recently, I have been to hospital for acquiring recommendation concerning diet from a doctor, yet before talking with doctor, I passed through particular medical equipments; furthermore, after receiving result, I approached to doctor, and he started to analyze my results, and give pieces of advice about diet. As it is evident from the aforementioned experience, technological enhancements are beneficial even for doctors.
In light of thoughts elaborated upon, I would like to conclude that technology has got tremendous impact on our lives, and probably they are the prime reason why people live longer nowadays. A book, which name eludes me at the moment, entailed a sentence concerning my argument, “the improvement of technology engenders effective solutions for diseases, which, in turn, suppresses humans from passing away”.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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...guments, which are elucidated below. To begin with, it is beyond doubt that n...
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... alive for a considerably long time. In addition, although the improvements t...
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...nts are beneficial even for doctors. In light of thoughts elaborated upon, I ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, moreover, so, still, at least, in addition, in other words, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 43.0788530466 77% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2103.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 386.0 407.700716846 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.4481865285 4.8611393121 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43248042346 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05555094557 2.67179642975 114% => OK
Unique words: 241.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.624352331606 0.524837075471 119% => OK
syllable_count: 672.3 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 9.0 1.86738351254 482% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 79.7813657851 48.9658058833 163% => OK
Chars per sentence: 150.214285714 100.406767564 150% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5714285714 20.6045352989 134% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.21428571429 5.45110844103 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.219264470323 0.236089414692 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0770820704391 0.076458572812 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0298622599324 0.0737576698707 40% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133159334162 0.150856017488 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0459138005752 0.0645574589148 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.0 11.7677419355 153% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 58.1214874552 61% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 10.1575268817 148% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.63 10.9000537634 134% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.17 8.01818996416 127% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 86.8835125448 146% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 10.002688172 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.