There should be laws to control the amount and type of violence shown on television programs. To what extent do u agree/ disgree with this statement.
Media and television programs of all kinds have established a particular audience by showing different types of programs targeting different type of audience. Modifying violence programs and setting limits of extent of official display can actually help in controlling mindsets of individuals.
There are several reasons supporting the standpoint of having a mould to shape every media programs being telecasted. Firstly, violence showing programs like vampire diaries or the killers series are producing negative effect on minds of youngsters as they try to mimic every act they see in such programs. The prevailing practices of robbery for sake of fun and entertainment by children of strong family backgrounds is one of some practical problems today's world is facing. Secondly, the negative personality changes like having bad manners, irritable behaviour, short tempered personality and pessimistic attitude may be developed. Thus, family atmosphere may get spoiled.
Furthermore, there are some long term side effects that these violence programs are likely to produce in future in society if remained independent without governing body. For instance, too much indulgence into watching these apparently interesting programs makes students less concerned about studies. Thus, they become more inclined towards these wrecking activities like stealing or giving physical harm to enemies and eventually, fall into bad company with the common aim of practically applying these activities that lingers on their minds all the time. Hence, a society's peace and harmony may become at stake.
However, with the aim of showing violence in order to familiarize the people with the miserable but true realities of the world can also justified by supporters. The violence happening in Iraq, Palastine, Afghanistan and Kashmir is not exaggerated in television programs but is actual depiction of what is happening in reality. Therefore, with the aim of strengthening nerves of audience , some degree of violence may be allowed exclusive of laws.
Last but not the least, laws enforcing the limitation of display of violence can actually result in provision of better entertainment on television. Government should take step in formulating and subsequently implementing such laws in media society as over display of violence may result in enormous following of bad activities like robbery, infliction of physical harm to enemies among masses which in return may demolish peace of society in future.
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Comments
i have re-written those two
i have re-written those two sentences.
Have 6 grammatical errors
Have 6 grammatical errors made the reason to get 6 band?
no. or words are 400+, new words more as compared to my previous essay.I cant figure out how can i get 7+ band .Please guide
6 grammatical errors are
6 grammatical errors are enough to put the marks down to 6.0.
If you want 7+:
1. no grammar errors or maximum 1-2 errors (and they should not be serious)
2. use vocabulary words properly. don't apply some words to essays you don't know 100%
3. develop sentences smoothly. learn Academic Writing. those links may help:
http://www.writing.utoronto.ca/advice/general/general-advice
http://www.writing.utoronto.ca/advice
thanks, i shall keep these in
thanks, i shall keep these in mind.
the unaware personality changes one may be having by watching such violence scenes are enough to spoil the interpersonal,
Description: can you re-write this sentence? Don't forget punctuation marks.
the family and friends of the affected person suffers out of proportion and the vicious cycle of misunderstandings starts.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
if remained independent without governing body
if it remained independent without a governing body
can also justified by supporters
can also be justified by supporters
but is actual depiction of what is happening in reality
but is actual a depiction of what is happening in reality
some degree of violence may be allowed exclusive of laws.
some degrees of violence may be allowed exclusively by laws.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Still have grammar issues. Try to develop sentences shorter but logically clear.
and pay attention to the words you are using like 'the vicious cycle'. If you don't know the words exactly, don't use them.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 410 350
No. of Characters: 2244 1500
No. of Different Words: 233 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.5 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.473 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.918 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 186 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 154 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 114 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.219 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.571 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5