Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements,some say taking them as an example c n be dangerous for young people. To what extent you agree or disagree.
Celebrities are who always we watch in the television. Actor and actress also kind of celebrities. Celebrities are public figures that always make the society interested because their acts in the movie or reality show are interesting. They are public centre every their information are always presented to the society, even their problem of their family always be presented to the society. Like in gossip or in reality show. This has many benefits for journalist to make their information more famous than before. Is not only the story of their family is presented by journalist but their glamour and wealth and etc.
Celebrities are public centre and public figure. Every day in the television we can find the celebrities such as the singer like in Indonesia Agnes Monica, or the actress like Luna Maya, Ayu Dewi or boy band and girl band Korea are always in the television. And every day the information are always about celebrities except formal news that talking about economy, development of country and any international news. Being celebrity makes everybody have to be interesting one in order every fan of them doesn’t disappointed of them. Most of television program are about celebrities. If they have new thing or new house are always presented in the television. And almost of their life style is glamour nothing of them are chief thing all are about more than one million. We can take the example from syahrini, she is the famous one in Indonesia no one doesn’t know about her. Everything of her always presented by journalist so do her wealth are also presented in television. I have never heard about the celebrity’s achievement as their good information. But as we know that celebrities as the trend centre. For every fan of them are always follow what their style even their life style that so glamour. Thus, their cloth style also followed by their fans like syahrini two years ago her lebaran cloth is followed by their fans usually as fan of celebrity we have to know all part of them and we have to follow their style, if we do not join at her style and haven’t known well about them it’s namely isn’t their fans. Their fans are comes from the young people that always follow everything that they think that the famous thing. Because they haven’t got what thing that they need in their life.
Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. Yes, I agree with this statement because as young people we have to stand on our founding. Do not need to follow celebrities style, it is not our line. We have different life with them, of course celebrities are famous with their glamour and wealth. And every body have different wealth. Everything can happen because of follow them. Seen like impossible to follow them while our life style is not in the same line. For example lady gaga her performance costume on the stage is made from meat of cow. And it’s raw meat, and the question is should we take an example and wearing it ? no, it’s not young people line. If we compare celebrities in Indonesia and abroad we can get many different of them. In Indonesia the celebrities is only about how beautiful and handsome they are isn’t only about their talents. And if abroad do not need how beautiful and handsome they are it’s not important just need their t talent in order all consumer can enjoy what have been presented by the celebrities. But every celebrity has their glamour and wealth.
The conclusion is celebrities are who famous with their glamour and wealth that always followed by the young people who never think about what should they need in their life to stand on their self is not try to be others just stay and stand on their foundation to get their own achievement.
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Celebrities are who always we watch in the television
Celebrities are those whom we always watch in the television
Actor and actress also kind of celebrities.
Actor and actress are also kind of celebrities.
Sentence: They are public centre every their information are always presented to the society, even their problem of their family always be presented to the society.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to every and their
Is not only the story of their family is presented by journalist
Is not only the story of their family which is presented by journalist
Sentence: Being celebrity makes everybody have to be interesting one in order every fan of them doesn't disappointed of them.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
Most of television program are about celebrities.
Most of television programs are about celebrities.
Sentence: We can take the example from syahrini, she is the famous one in Indonesia no one doesn't know about her.
Description: A noun, singular, proper is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to Indonesia and no
Sentence: For every fan of them are always follow what their style even their life style that so glamour.
Description: two verbs in one sentence
Sentence: Do not need to follow celebrities style, it is not our line.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to celebrities and style
Sentence: Everything can happen because of follow them.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to of and follow
Sentence: And it's raw meat, and the question is should we take an example and wearing it ? no, it's not young people line.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to it's and raw
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to is and should
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and line
Sentence: In Indonesia the celebrities is only about how beautiful and handsome they are isn't only about their talents.
Description: The tag a noun, singular, proper is not usually followed by the
Suggestion: Refer to Indonesia and the
Description: The fragment and handsome they is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace handsome with adverb
The conclusion is celebrities are who
The conclusion is that celebrities are those who
flaws:
No. of Words: 658 350
No. of Grammatical Errors: 16 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 16 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 36 15
No. of Words: 658 350
No. of Characters: 3010 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.065 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.574 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.403 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 172 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.278 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.031 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.417 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.279 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.384 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.172 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5