Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the argument provided the author expresses his support for pirouettes ballet school and proclaims this school to be the clear choice among students willing to learn ballet due to many reasons. reasons stated by the author are that the ballet school provides an intensive program , their teachers are associated and have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world and also that their students have gone on to become professional dancers with top companies. The author provides a series of reasoning in support of pirouettes ballet school but I strongly disagree with the author's opinion. The below mentioned three reasons would be explaining my take in detail.
Firstly the success rate for every student in any field is highly dependent on the students. As it is stated that the pirouettes ballet course is highly intensive it could be possible that some students might be able to cope with this course whereas for others it might be so stressful that instead of gaining interest in ballet and to work hard towards there hobby they might lose interest in ballet altogether. Hence although the program is intense, how each student adapts him/herself to that program would surely be different not making it such an obvious choice among students.
Secondly, there might be a scenarios where the teachers are so professional (owing to the fact that they are associated with various dance companies) they might no provide personal attention to students whereas if a student opts for a smaller ballet school with less number of students and equally skilled but less professional teachers then they might give more attention to the students.
Thirdly there might be a scenario where the students who have become professional dancers didn't really attend pirouettes ballet school. they might have attended different schools but as they became famous pirouettes ballet school would have paid or bribed them to associate their name as students in pirouettes ballet school.
Hence this scenario is difficult to analyze as there is a possibility that pirouettes ballet school would be providing great mentorship to budding ballet dancers but after analyzing the above it can be concluded that for many students other ballet school might be the first option for enrollment in comparison to pirouettes ballet school.
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2020-01-01 | himanshu mardikar | 59 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 379 350
No. of Characters: 1931 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.412 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.095 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.514 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 42.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 22.038 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.889 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.448 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.725 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.189 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 197, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Reasons
...ng to learn ballet due to many reasons. reasons stated by the author are that the balle...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 282, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...let school provides an intensive program , their teachers are associated and have ...
^^
Line 1, column 598, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...school but I strongly disagree with the authors opinion. The below mentioned three reas...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 102, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ghly dependent on the students. As it is stated that the pirouettes ballet course...
^^
Line 3, column 120, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'pirouettes'' or 'pirouette's'?
Suggestion: pirouettes'; pirouette's
...the students. As it is stated that the pirouettes ballet course is highly intensive it co...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 415, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ght lose interest in ballet altogether. Hence although the program is intense, how ea...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 26, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a scenario' or simply 'scenarios'?
Suggestion: a scenario; scenarios
...ng students. Secondly, there might be a scenarios where the teachers are so professional...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 43, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...condly, there might be a scenarios where the teachers are so professional owing t...
^^
Line 5, column 337, Rule ID: LESS_MORE_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'?
Suggestion: than
... skilled but less professional teachers then they might give more attention to the s...
^^^^
Line 7, column 91, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...ts who have become professional dancers didnt really attend pirouettes ballet school....
^^^^^
Line 7, column 137, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...really attend pirouettes ballet school. they might have attended different schools b...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...students in pirouettes ballet school. Hence this scenario is difficult to analyze a...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, really, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, whereas, as for
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1963.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 377.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.20689655172 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4064143971 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56502594152 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.46949602122 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 583.2 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 34.0 22.8473053892 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 101.481097861 57.8364921388 175% => OK
Chars per sentence: 178.454545455 119.503703932 149% => OK
Words per sentence: 34.2727272727 23.324526521 147% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.54545454545 5.70786347227 167% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.407489117486 0.218282227539 187% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.175144495701 0.0743258471296 236% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.114580739296 0.0701772020484 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.246363717594 0.128457276422 192% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.102541789713 0.0628817314937 163% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.2 14.3799401198 140% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.43 48.3550499002 94% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 12.197005988 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.53 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 12.3882235529 141% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.6 11.1389221557 140% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.