The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The director of the student housing at Buckingham college suggest that the college should build new dormitories. The above statement by the director is based on the evidence that the number of students enrolling in the college is increasing and is asserting by analyzing that the enrollment will double in next fifty years. He also states that the average rent for an apartment in the town has increased in recent years and it will be difficult for students to afford off-campus housing. However, the director of student housing does not provide following two evidence to support the arguement which might not result to be beneficial for the college.
First, the director is not providing enough evidence to prove that the students enrolled in the college do live in the dormitories. For instance, it might be possible that major students enrolled in the college are living with their families and they have their own houses. If this scenario is valid then by increasing the number of dormitories might not result in increase of enrollment at Buckingham college. It is also possible that the students who come to the college are living in nearby town which is at thirty minute distance from the college. Also bus service is available till the college for students who live in nearby town. In such a case building new dormitories will not be beneficial for the college as the num er of students who will enroll in college and will be staying in the dormitories will be less. Therfore, the director of the housing at Buckingham college should provide evidence to conclude that it will be beneficial to build new dormitories.
Secondly, the director is not providing enough evidence to conclude that average rent will be continously increasing. For instance it might be possible that a the the number of rental apartments in the town increased an the new apratments are providing housing at a very cheap rate. If the above case is valid then the students will choose to live in the rental apartments instead of living in the college dormitories. Thus, by increasing the number of dormitories will not be beneficial for the college. It might be possible that the students will choose the off-campus apartments to live because the other expenses which include the food and the other miscellenous activites is very high and the quality of service is also not worth it. In such a case student will opt for the off-campus apartments eventhough the rent is high as they would be able to compensate with other expenses like food by cooking their own food. In such a scenario increasing the number of dormitories might not have expected results. Thus, it is difficult to conclude whether the college should build dormitories or not and the director should provide evidence for the above reasons.
Lastly, the director is not providing enough evidence to prove that the enrollment at Buckingham college will double over the next fifty years. It might be possible that another college has started in the neighbouring town and has better facilities, teaching and better dormitories than at Buckingham college. In such a case their might be a possibility that the students will enroll in the other college and the aspiring Buckingham college students might also choose the other college instead of Buckingham college. Therefore, increasing the number of dormitiories might not be beneficial for the college. Therefore, the director should provide more evidence to conclude whether the college should increase the number of dormitories.
In conclusion, the above arguement is based on som unwarranted assumptions and the director should provide more evidence along with reasoning to conclude that building new dormitories will be beneficial for the college.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 617 350
No. of Characters: 3084 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.984 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.998 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.702 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 235 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 193 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 134 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 75 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.68 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.45 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.72 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.418 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.172 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 275, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...amilies and they have their own houses. If this scenario is valid then by increasi...
^^
Line 5, column 553, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...hirty minute distance from the college. Also bus service is available till the colle...
^^^^
Line 9, column 158, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'a' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: a; the
... For instance it might be possible that a the the number of rental apartments in the ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 160, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...or instance it might be possible that a the the number of rental apartments in the town...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 160, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...or instance it might be possible that a the the number of rental apartments in the town...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 218, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...rental apartments in the town increased an the new apratments are providing housin...
^^
Line 9, column 218, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'an' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: an; the
...rental apartments in the town increased an the new apratments are providing housing at...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 284, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...providing housing at a very cheap rate. If the above case is valid then the studen...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 33.0 12.9520958084 255% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 80.0 55.5748502994 144% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3145.0 2260.96107784 139% => OK
No of words: 617.0 441.139720559 140% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.09724473258 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.98392262146 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75877839036 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.283630470016 0.468620217663 61% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 987.3 705.55239521 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.7284863456 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.8 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.68 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.24 5.70786347227 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.280151213902 0.218282227539 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120626648048 0.0743258471296 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.104543593888 0.0701772020484 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.213336983363 0.128457276422 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0864641914013 0.0628817314937 138% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.77 8.32208582834 81% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.