Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It is unquestionable that developing a broad group of known and friends is it essential for the professional future of everyone. Whether it is more relevant have a extense networking or studying hard during in school, though, it is a matter of intense debate. As far as I am concerned. I don’t concur with the affirmation. This position is based on two solid reason that will be analyzed more thoroughly below.
To begin with, it doesn’t matter how well are you trying with people, if you don’t have the knowledge and the skills recquired to be an outstanding professional you will never be successful. Being sociable and skillful to interact with people is a plus in some carreers like socials science or public relationship. However, even those profession recquire to master other abilities and to study another topic to be excelent professional. An illustrative example of that is the case of my brother John. He always, since eh was a child, has been good socializing with people of both genders. He started to work in a Apple store and after some years the position of manager was available and he wanted to get it. He applied but in the interview, he was not able to show other skills like, lidership or organisative capacity, required for the position. To make a long history short, that happended because he had not more than high school and he had not a good preparation.
Secondly, the prestigue and the success is directly related with how extraordinary are you in your profession, and to get that level of excelence, you need to prepared well and take advantage of you time in school. To prove this affirmation we just need to read about the life of some successful people, not only in intelectual field, but also in sports, art or any other field. I can mnetion some example like, Michael Jordan, Albert Einstein, Michael Jackson, Bill Gates. All of them putan extraordinary effort not only practicing their abilities to become in the best in ther respectives field, but also they studied hard to obtain the knowledge needed to excel over other people which were not willing to give the sacrifice.
In summation, I am of the opinion that to use the time in school properly is the key to be successful in you future professional carrer. This is because if you don’t have the necessary preparation you won’t capable to improve your carrer, and because only with the practice and and the knowledge acquire in the school you will able to shine in your profession.
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- TOEFL T P O 16 - Integrated Writing Task 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 163, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ryone. Whether it is more relevant have a extense networking or studying hard dur...
^
Line 1, column 261, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ough, it is a matter of intense debate. As far as I am concerned. I don't con...
^^
Line 5, column 286, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'socials'' or 'social's'?
Suggestion: socials'; social's
... people is a plus in some carreers like socials science or public relationship. However...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 340, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this profession' or 'those professions'?
Suggestion: this profession; those professions
...e or public relationship. However, even those profession recquire to master other abilities and ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 622, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... of both genders. He started to work in a Apple store and after some years the po...
^
Line 5, column 720, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... was available and he wanted to get it. He applied but in the interview, he was no...
^^
Line 13, column 285, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: and
...rer, and because only with the practice and and the knowledge acquire in the school you...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, second, secondly, so, well, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2084.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 429.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85780885781 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55107846309 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84832270377 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5337995338 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 661.5 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.7856281195 48.9658058833 122% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.684210526 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5789473684 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.42105263158 5.45110844103 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.245877882361 0.236089414692 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0666196828586 0.076458572812 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0497316255888 0.0737576698707 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.148757404621 0.150856017488 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0162652303024 0.0645574589148 25% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 11.7677419355 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.