The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.
“According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public’s lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising.”
Allocation a greater money for advertising the products, based on what has presented in the memo, would be so helpful to absorb public opinions about Super Screen Movie Production company; however the author was not able to offer a cogent arguments, since it is rife with some assumption, and as the consequent, it might not be really compelling notion.
The first assumption is that he argued that based on recent report from their marketing department during the past year, fewer people attended mentioned movies, than any other years. First of all he has not mentioned to what time that recent report refers, and he also was not able to offer any statistical reports about the decrease. He just mentioned that few people, but it is not clear, whether this amount is really significant or not. Additionally, the authenticity of the report is not elucidated. He has not also mentioned such report has been compared with how many years.
Moreover, the next assumption that should be more painted on, is that he mentioned the percentage of positive reviews by reviewers has increased. Like what has argued above, he has not mentioned how much this percentage has increased, also it cannot be reliable since it is not authentic and it is not clear from how many people such results have been extracted. Furthermore, it is not obvious whether this increase was significant or not.
Last, but not least, according to the memo, the advertising director thinks that the best way to reaching the public through their company is advertising, and therefore, he arrived to the conclusion that much more money should be allocated in this way, while, he has forgotten that the decrease might have been because of their poor quality, and there is a possibility that there are lots of other companies that offer the same job, but with better quality, and this, is the reason why people will not prefer to use their products. So in this way even the advertisement would not help them to improve their situation.
To wrap up, allocation more money for advertising mentioned company's products would be so wise decision, while the author was not able to offer a well analyzed argument and as the result, it might not be accepted as a compelling notion.
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argument 1 -- not OK. You don't doubt the report, but suppose the report is true, then find a flaw from the report.
argument 2 -- not OK. Doesn't matter 'how much this percentage has increased,', the truth is that it is increased. this is not a loophole.
argument 3 -- OK
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 380 350
No. of Characters: 1809 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.415 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.761 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.571 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.231 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.783 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.368 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.622 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.218 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5