Majority of the population perceives that mobile phones must not be utilized personally while others think that it should be used only in their jobs. In my own perspective, either way of usage has its imperative role.
To begin, when we referred to the personal use of the cellular phones, convenience was the utmost concern. Wherever we are we can be easily contacted in most cases especially if every family member has its own device. Indeed, it can save time and everybody’s productivity will not succumb. No more queuing or waiting needed just to get hold of someone else in any parts of the world. Unlike before that telegram and telephone were the basic way of communication. For instance, in cases of emergency if we have elderly at home, everyone could be reached and informed regarding the situation. Life is becoming easy and comfortable due to this device.
Moreover, if we take this gadget in the workplace, thus employer and employee got an ease of access to each other. When employer uses to travel, high-technology smart phones can take over to monitor the productivity of his company; hence this device is vital for the success of the business. No more wastage of time, money and effort for air fares if mobile phones were utilized, since he does not have to travel to and fro for the advancement of his business.
In addition, when it comes to hospital settings patient’s progress could be updated by his doctor. In particular, taking appointments were made convenient not only for the staff but also for the patient. This gadget would probably be utilized in saving more lives.
In conclusion, mobile phones could be a powerful and useful tool for personal and business usage, as long as it does not hinder or impede anyone’s progress. Everything was made possible through the discovery of this.
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Sir, Thanks. Please advise me
Sir,
Thanks. Please advise me on how to improve my writing faster. Do you think through constant daily practice I'll be able to achieve band 7 and up in 1 month's time?
Best regards,
Jowelyn
Yes, you can get 7.0 for sure
Yes, you can get 7.0 for sure in one month. Your problem is not because of language, but seems you are not a careful person. You have issues here or there. You need to focus on essay writing and take it seriously.
You need to learn to check out those issues firstly by your own like Grammar, Ideas, Coherence etc. after you finished an essay , since no body can help you out in IELTS test room.
and the best suggestion is: Read more essays by top users(as much as possible) and take advantages of their writing skills, vocabulary words ...
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Sir, Thank you for the
Sir,
Thank you for the encouragement. I'll do the best I could.
Jowelyn
flaws:
This is not exactly related to topic:
In addition, when it comes to hospital settings patient’s progress could be updated by his doctor. In particular, taking appointments were made convenient not only for the staff but also for the patient. This gadget would probably be utilized in saving more lives.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 309 350
No. of Characters: 1468 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.193 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.751 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.594 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.176 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.879 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.282 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.532 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5