IELTS EssayTopic - Nowadays, more and more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?Kindly Evaluate and help me in understanding IELTS estimated band score for my writing.

Submitted by Ritu Lad on Fri, 10/05/2018 - 00:40

An increased number of people are preferring to meet their friends and family online instead of in person. In my opinion, this is creating a detrimental effect on individual reading them to seclusion, and serious health and social issues.

Firstly, social media creates a hallucinogenic virtual world, which harbingers isolation and self-centeredness. Before the rise of social networking, people used to meet others face to face which brought them joy and, feeling of belonging and wanted. But now, with no real human interaction people are leading themselves to a fake life which is showcased online as a perfect life, consequently making them envy of others and often leading to depression.

Secondly, socializing online has resulted into serious health issues that is caused mainly due to sedentary lifestyle that follows. For instance, people choose to stay at home and chat online, confining themselves into rooms instead of indulging with people outside for a sport or a walk, which results into little or no exercise. For this reason, there is an increase in health issues such as obesity and cardiac problems.

Finally, choosing to socialise online is the reason for increased cybercrime rate. Admittedly, people often register themselves under fake identities to lure people, especially teenagers who are naive and immature, into sexual or monitoring favours. Additionally, if someone shares some personal photos or information online, it is present there for everyone's access for lifetime and can be misused anytime which can lead to embarrassment.

To conclude, socialising online has various drawbacks which has damaging effects on one's physical and psychological health, also at harbingers increasing social crimes.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS General Training
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 31, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
An increased number of people are preferring to meet their friends and family online...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 171, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'others'' or 'other's'?
Suggestion: others'; other's
... social networking, people used to meet others face to face which brought them joy and...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, for instance, such as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 7.85571142285 25% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 10.4138276553 163% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 13.0 24.0651302605 54% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 41.998997996 81% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1478.0 1615.20841683 92% => OK
No of words: 266.0 315.596192385 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.55639097744 5.12529762239 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03850299372 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94847109955 2.80592935109 105% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 176.041082164 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.627819548872 0.561755894193 112% => OK
syllable_count: 465.3 506.74238477 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 5.43587174349 37% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.5849999649 49.4020404114 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.166666667 106.682146367 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1666666667 20.7667163134 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.33333333333 7.06120827912 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.67935871743 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.9879759519 201% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.150992440364 0.244688304435 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0577534481704 0.084324248473 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0308954692799 0.0667982634062 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0812867319521 0.151304729494 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0218791454455 0.056905535591 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 13.0946893788 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 50.2224549098 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 11.3001002004 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.97 12.4159519038 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.19 8.58950901804 119% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 78.4519038076 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.