tpo 40 task2
rewarding is one of the effective ways to persuade human beings for doing actions. some parents believe that offer money as present to get a high mark in school can be considered as an impetus. however, some parents disagree with this approach. In my opinion, getting money is a reasonable reward for achieving a high mark in school. In the following, I will elaborate on my idea for two main reasons.
to commence with, the human brain is adopted with the strategy that if an action is performed and a pleasant consequence is displayed as a result, A positive loop will be generated that leads to doing more action to attain a more favorable feeling. offering money to prize for getting a high grade in school could use a good example of this process. Whenever parents give money to their children for obtaining great marks at school, this behavior assumes as an impetus to try harder for reaching to the better mark. the more paid money, the more harder trying to achieve the top mark. this stimulating behavior of parents concerning increasing grades at school eventuates to good gpa in children's careers at school which makes them more qualify person for entering the better university in their future academic life.
In addition, money plays a crucial role in modern life. Therefore, it is rudimentary for children to how to at the mercy of financial issues at school age for being ready in real life. By offering money with respect to the result of acceptable grade in school, this money could be presumed a financial supply for children that let them learn how to organize their money for their purpose. this experience could be adaptable on a larger scale in future life and allow them to confront the economic issue with more confidence and cope with them properly. my own experience is a compelling example of this experience. I always received 10 dollars after obtaining an A+ mark in my exams. I save 10% of this funding all the time. after finishing my academic year, I could buy the newest version of game consoles with my own money. this saving habit entrenched in me until now. Last year I resigned from my job and I faced some economic problems. I utilize my saved money until I found a job again. this money helps me to survive in harsh financial circumstances.
In conclusion, I strongly believe offering money in terms of the prize for high grades in school-age children is beneficial. it does not only result in more effort to get a better mark which leads to a higher gpa but also eventually teaches kids how to deal with their economics issue in real life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Rewarding
rewarding is one of the effective ways to persuad...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 84, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Some
...ersuade human beings for doing actions. some parents believe that offer money as pre...
^^^^
Line 1, column 195, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...school can be considered as an impetus. however, some parents disagree with this approa...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: To
...orate on my idea for two main reasons. to commence with, the human brain is adopt...
^^
Line 2, column 249, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Offering
...ion to attain a more favorable feeling. offering money to prize for getting a high grade...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 516, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...harder for reaching to the better mark. the more paid money, the more harder trying...
^^^
Line 2, column 541, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'harder' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: harder
...e better mark. the more paid money, the more harder trying to achieve the top mark. this st...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 585, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: This
... harder trying to achieve the top mark. this stimulating behavior of parents concern...
^^^^
Line 5, column 390, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: This
...organize their money for their purpose. this experience could be adaptable on a larg...
^^^^
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Suggestion: My
...confidence and cope with them properly. my own experience is a compelling example ...
^^
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Suggestion: After
... save 10% of this funding all the time. after finishing my academic year, I could buy...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 827, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: This
...ion of game consoles with my own money. this saving habit entrenched in me until now...
^^^^
Line 5, column 994, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: This
... saved money until I found a job again. this money helps me to survive in harsh fina...
^^^^
Line 6, column 125, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: It
...s in school-age children is beneficial. it does not only result in more effort to ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, so, therefore, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, in my opinion, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2134.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 453.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.71081677704 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61343653406 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56961038559 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490066225166 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 679.5 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.4914647239 48.9658058833 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.9166666667 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.875 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.58333333333 5.45110844103 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.5376344086 253% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 86.8835125448 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.