TPO 8 q 2, TV advertisement directed toward the children should not be allowed.
Television Advertising can be considered as the main tool for marketing in recent decade. Nowadays, it is commonly accepted that the each age should have a specific kind of strategy for advertising including kids. Contrary to this belief there are still those who argue that commercial advertises should not attack to young children with the goal of take advantages from their ages. I, to a great extent, agree with this idea that direct advertises toward kids have negative effect on their behavior and attitudes and should be restricted.
First aspect to point out is that kids have very limitted informations about the product, so it lead to make mistake very easily. While, some companies want to make dirty money by attacking to weak points of kids by giving them wrong data about their products, such as foods, toys, dresses, etc. It is obviouse that the childeren accept their attractive sentences and fascinate to their f**king product.
Another significant point which should be taken into consideration is that advertises make more discussion between parents and children. If a product looks nice, beautiful and cool the kids accept that as the best one to buy; however, it is not true and the parents know about the reality behind a colorful advertises as well. Therefore, the children want to have these attractive product by forcing their parents. On the other hand, parents do not accept to buy a low quality harmful products which have negative influence on their kids and it lead to some harsh discussion. These kind of discussion always make the relationship between kids and parents worse and worse.
Finally yet importantly, advertises may learn false lesson to the children. Each of the commercial advertises constructed based on some repetitive sentences which may give incorrect information to kids. For example, I saw an advertise about a fast food that induce to the minds of children the advantages of pasta and encourage them to eat more and more. It may increase weight of the kids and change their food program. It would has really hazardous effect on the health and growing rate of the young kids.
On the basis of the points mentioned above, I am convinced that there should be some laws in order to forbid advertisment toward young children. Their low level information of goods, creat discussion with parent and take wrong ideas in their mind can be stated as the main disadvantages of having special advertising for the kids.
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so it lead to make mistake very easily.
so it leads to make mistakes very easily.
and it lead to some harsh discussion.
and it leads to some harsh discussions.
advertises may learn false lesson to the children.
advertises may teach false lessons to the children.
It would has really hazardous effect on the health and growing rate of the young kids.
It would have really hazardous effects on the health and growing rate of the young kids.
Sentence: First aspect to point out is that kids have very limitted informations about the product, so it lead to make mistake very easily.
Error: limitted Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: While, some companies want to make dirty money by attacking to weak points of kids by giving them wrong data about their products, such as foods, toys, dresses, etc. It is obviouse that the childeren accept their attractive sentences and fascinate to their fucking product.
Error: obviouse Suggestion: obvious
Error: childeren Suggestion: children
Sentence: On the basis of the points mentioned above, I am convinced that there should be some laws in order to forbid advertisment toward young children.
Error: advertisment Suggestion: advertisement
Sentence: Their low level information of goods, creat discussion with parent and take wrong ideas in their mind can be stated as the main disadvantages of having special advertising for the kids.
Error: creat Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
Don't use 'f**king' in the essays.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 410 350
No. of Characters: 2009 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.5 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.9 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.593 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.929 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5