In the above statement, the author predicts that their profits will exceed those of Optima Doll manufacturing which is their most successful competitor because Primo Doll manufacturing has created Elkie-advenced Doll which has higher quality materials based on surveys of parents. While supporting the argument, however, the author relies on numerous unjustified assumptions which cannot be taken for granted thus it is necessary to consider other factors which can influence the author's argument.
Firstly, the author assumes that the cited surveys are representative of all parents who they are tarketing for their customers, however, it may not be warranted. Given two surveys, there is no information about accurate number of respondants. If we do not know the actual number of respondants, it is hard to convince the argument because the percentile of expressing about satisfaction of their previous doll product would be useless if the small number of people participate in those surveys. Thus, the question pertaining to representativeness of survey is necessary to evaluate the argument.
Secondly, the author presumes that an advanced-quality doll would be prefered by parents but it may not be the true. The manufacturing has created advanced model of doll by using higher quality materials than their competitors and it could make their new doll more expensive than that of comeptitors. If parents want to more cheaper dolls by considering their kid's fond which is quickly changed, they would not want to purchase their products any more even if they have liked their previous doll products. Therefore, the author has to answer about the what is the priority of parents who are their major customers.
Lastly, even if it is possible to make more sales on a newly launced doll, however, it would not directly lead to increase of profit. The author does not consider other aspects of profits such distiribution cost, economical situation in this year or cost of materials. The author alreday mentioned that the manufactoring used high quality materials for producing a new dolls and it may have brought more cost than ever thus if parents buy more dolls than before it would not entail more profits. Moreover, the number of purchase do not the sole determining factor which can contribute to profits. To make proper predictions of profits, it is essential to consider third factors otherwise the prediction would not be convincing.
In sum, the author makes positive predictions about their sales and profits which the new product will bring, however, it is crucial for the author to provide proper answers about the representativeness of cited surveys, priority of their customers and, other factors influencing to profits.
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e-rater score report
Sentence: Given two surveys, there is no information about accurate number of respondants.
Description: The fragment Given two is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace Given with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: Therefore, the author has to answer about the what is the priority of parents who are their major customers.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a WH-determiner
Suggestion: Refer to the and what
Sentence: Firstly, the author assumes that the cited surveys are representative of all parents who they are tarketing for their customers, however, it may not be warranted.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: tarketing Suggestion: marketing
Sentence: Given two surveys, there is no information about accurate number of respondants.
Error: respondants Suggestion: respondents
Sentence: If we do not know the actual number of respondants, it is hard to convince the argument because the percentile of expressing about satisfaction of their previous doll product would be useless if the small number of people participate in those surveys.
Error: respondants Suggestion: respondents
Sentence: Secondly, the author presumes that an advanced-quality doll would be prefered by parents but it may not be the true.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: prefered Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: advanced-quality Suggestion: advanced quality
Sentence: The manufacturing has created advanced model of doll by using higher quality materials than their competitors and it could make their new doll more expensive than that of comeptitors.
Error: comeptitors Suggestion: competitors
Sentence: Lastly, even if it is possible to make more sales on a newly launced doll, however, it would not directly lead to increase of profit.
Error: launced Suggestion: launched
Sentence: The author does not consider other aspects of profits such distiribution cost, economical situation in this year or cost of materials.
Error: distiribution Suggestion: distribution
Sentence: The author alreday mentioned that the manufactoring used high quality materials for producing a new dolls and it may have brought more cost than ever thus if parents buy more dolls than before it would not entail more profits.
Error: manufactoring Suggestion: manufacturing
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: alreday Suggestion: already
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
Double check spelling errors.
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 436 350
No. of Characters: 2257 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.57 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.177 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.882 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 133 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.305 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.584 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 481, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...r other factors which can influence the authors argument. Firstly, the author assume...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 321, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'cheaper' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: cheaper
...that of comeptitors. If parents want to more cheaper dolls by considering their kids fond wh...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 214, Rule ID: ECONOMICAL_ECONOMIC[1]
Message: Did you mean 'economic' (=connected with economy)?
Suggestion: economic
...cts of profits such distiribution cost, economical situation in this year or cost of mater...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, third, thus, while, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2310.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 436.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29816513761 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56953094068 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95772688124 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.47247706422 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 708.3 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.6057114511 57.8364921388 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.375 119.503703932 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.25 23.324526521 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.1875 5.70786347227 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.145890530268 0.218282227539 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0546405404299 0.0743258471296 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.050301472447 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0885805841628 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0464810690217 0.0628817314937 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 14.3799401198 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.76 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.14 8.32208582834 110% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 98.500998004 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.