7 The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
The author asserts that opening cafe would attract more customers for Monarch Books for the reasons that Regal Books has opened a cafe as well as the population of children is decreasing recently. Although the argument seems plausible at the first glance, a close scrutiny reveals its untenability.
At the first place, the author mistakenly equals the less percentage of population of children to the less readers under age ten. On the one hand, even though the percentage of the population under age ten declines these years, it is a strong possibility that the population of children is larger due to the increasing total population. On the other hand, suppose that the population of children does decrease, it does not mean there would be less children readers in Monarch Books. Perhaps with the improvement of education levels, more children would come to Monarch Books to read books. Furthermore, if children readers are the major readers of Monarch Books, it would have a great loss when they discontinue the children’s book section. Thus, it is unjustifiable to deconstruct the children’s books section.
Secondly, the author does not clearly explain why opening a cafe would attract more customers. The Monarch Books is loved because of its wide selection of books on all subjects. If the Monarch Books pays more attention to the construction of cafe rather than gather more books, it would lost its main advantage. Perhaps the customers of Monarch Books are prefer to buy books in this bookstore rather than sitting in the bookstore and reading those books with a cup of coffee. Hence, the author cannot guarantee the Monarch Books would attract more customers with a new cafe.
Finally, even if Regel Books opened a cafe recently, it is unknown whether this cafe attract more customers for Regel Books. If Regel Books fails to attract customers by opening a cafe, it is not worthy to learning Regel Books. Furthermore, the Monarch Books and Regel Books have different characteristics and different style. The success of Regel Books cannot be copied totally by Monarch Books. Therefore, whether a new cafe would make Monarch Books more competitive is uncertain.
In conclusion, the author fails to prove that opening a cafe would make Monarch Books more attractive or more competitive, at least bases on this recommendation. To make argument more persuasive, the author should provide more statistics about the exact number of children readers. More information about the preference of customers, and the effect of cafe of Regel Books is also appreciated.
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Perhaps the customers of Monarch Books are prefer to buy books
Perhaps the customers of Monarch Books prefer to buy books
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 419 350
No. of Characters: 2100 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.524 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.012 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.647 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.952 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.68 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.424 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.609 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.22 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5