Some people strongly insist that the disruptive school students to be seperated from the ongoing classes and to be taught in seperated classes with appropriate punishments.What is your point of view?

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Some people strongly insist that the disruptive school students to be seperated from the ongoing classes and to be taught in seperated classes with appropriate punishments.What is your point of view?

It is a fact that,the children are the most important people,especially younger generation in the whole world,because they are the one who maintain and develop the whole world in the future. As parents they should train their children in a good behavour from the beginning of their childhood. According to the modern technology, though parents teach good manners to their students,they have become as slaves on modern technology.I n my opinion, it is one of the main causes that most of children become more disruptive. Even though children are used technology, parents should get the full of responsabilities of them.When both parents go to work as usually their children stay at home alone, so that is why children behave very strange pattern. Hence i'm going to substantiate my views with relevant examples.

As we all know,when we separate disruptive children it will be the worst thing that will do forever.There aren't any advantages of separating these students from others. But some people think strongly the students who behave disruptively have to be separated from the ongoing classes at schools, with appropriate punishments. However it is correct that we should give sophisticated punishments to disruptive students, but with in a good manner.As i mentioned before, technology and loneliness are particulary involved in this problem.For example in present most of students spend their time with computers especially with facebook, internet etc.They enjoy their time by chatting with someone else, playing computer games but they are not supposed to share their feelings with their parents as well as today they do not care about themselves also.

Most of children are being children addicted to these new technology and other devices. They learn everything from that whereas they addicted for abused things.Due to these consequences, nowadays most of the students have become disruptive because today the cost of living is increasing, so both friends go to work. So that children do not have time to spend with their parents which is not better to their lives. However so many students behave very badly at schools due to these problems. Although they are disruptive we do not need to separate from others, as long as there will be more crimes than before. The best solution for this is, train school teachers who think about the separating students at schools whereas the government should take necessary steps in every country for this huge problem so that we need to protect this type of students. When you give punishments as teachers to students they would not listen to them.

In conclusion,all children are very precious to the world,though there are disruptive students, we must not treat in separate ways.So separating from ongoing classes and give very strong punishments will not be acceptable. In my opinion although disruptive students disturbs others we could give advises in a good manner but not to separate so that one day they will get understand what they are did and they will be the best people in the world.

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2014-12-10 udaradeeraka 67 view
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they are the one who maintain
they are the ones who maintain

Sentence: Even though children are used technology, parents should get the full of responsabilities of them.When both parents go to work as usually their children stay at home alone, so that is why children behave very strange pattern.
Error: responsabilities Suggestion: responsibilities

Sentence: However it is correct that we should give sophisticated punishments to disruptive students, but with in a good manner.As i mentioned before, technology and loneliness are particulary involved in this problem.For example in present most of students spend their time with computers especially with facebook, internet etc.They enjoy their time by chatting with someone else, playing computer games but they are not supposed to share their feelings with their parents as well as today they do not care
Error: particulary Suggestion: particular

flaws:
Need to focus on the topic. Don't write something not related to the topic.

Some duplicate words or sentences. Look:
No. of Words: 514 while No. of Different Words: 225

Always put a space after punctuation marks. Essay e-rater is sensitive.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 514 350
No. of Characters: 2496 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.761 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.856 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.575 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 172 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 136 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.27 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.492 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

If you can write the essay according to the topic, you don't have problem to get 6.0 or over. Your language is OK.

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This pattern will give your some ideas how to focus on topic:

Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.

Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).

Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing as First

Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing as First but shorter

Para 5: Conclusion.
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And don't need to write a lot. 350 words are enough.

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