The best way to improve public health is by increasingthe number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have a little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is true that few people say that the possible way to keep the fitness of society is by adding the sport facilities, while other believe that this only has less impact and need for some standard reasons.
In this particular reason, I agree that giving the sport utility to the public is smart idea to trigger citizens awareness to live healthy as their way of live. By doing this, the society will achieve easier what they wanted in their live. Health is very important to help us live to stay focus on our goal. Without it, many problems can be found in our daily life. There are many health issues and social degrading psychology recently. Such us, obesity, asthma, and unstable blood pressure that societies face recently. Also we can find the differences in how fit people control their emotion than the one who do not maintain their health regularly.
However some of them thought it is necessary, I also agree that not only using the facilities that bring healthiness to the societies. It is the way of thingking of people should be built in the right way to live their live to the balance. The right point of view about how we should live, to maintain socio-eco-environment, how we treat and communicate in neighborhood also being part of keeping the healthness itself. Self awareness should comes first in term of staying fit. It brought the condition that allowed us keep active doing something benefits for our lives. Imagine if our society do not have it, the result must be shocking that the number of ill or sick people increases significantly and not just that area but also the number of people doing bad thing or crime will affected risely.
In conclusion, I have no doubt to both of views if these could be applied in societies lives. But for myself, I preferred only self awareness could build the continuity of keeping the health be part of our lives.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2015-01-21 | Merdekawati Ika | 60 | view |
is smart idea
is a smart idea
Sentence: In this particular reason, I agree that giving the sport utility to the public is smart idea to trigger citizens awareness to live healthy as their way of live.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to citizens and awareness
the one who do not maintain their health regularly.
the one who does not maintain his health regularly.
Sentence: Self awareness should comes first in term of staying fit.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to should and comes
Sentence: It brought the condition that allowed us keep active doing something benefits for our lives.
Description: The word benefits is not usually used as a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to benefits
It is the way of thingking of people should be built in the right way
It is the way of thingking of people who should be built in the right way
Sentence: Imagine if our society do not have it, the result must be shocking that the number of ill or sick people increases significantly and not just that area but also the number of people doing bad thing or crime will affected risely.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to will and affected
Sentence: In conclusion, I have no doubt to both of views if these could be applied in societies lives.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to societies and lives
Sentence: It is the way of thingking of people should be built in the right way to live their live to the balance.
Error: thingking Suggestion: thinking
Sentence: The right point of view about how we should live, to maintain socio-eco-environment, how we treat and communicate in neighborhood also being part of keeping the healthness itself.
Error: healthness Suggestion: healthiness
Sentence: Imagine if our society do not have it, the result must be shocking that the number of ill or sick people increases significantly and not just that area but also the number of people doing bad thing or crime will affected risely.
Error: risely Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 330 350
No. of Characters: 1511 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.262 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.579 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.488 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.407 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.492 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5