Essay topic:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should give the same amount of money to their students’ sports activities as they give to university libraries. Use specific reasons and examples to give your opinion.
Libraries are very important for students to study there. In order for students to get specious information, universities should improve and enhance their libraries, but in addition for that universities should focus on sports activities since these activities play a pivotal role in students' life. In my view, universities should give the same money to their students' sport activities as they give to university libraries for two imperative reasons.
First, they are good for the health of the students. As we know that healthy brain comes from healthy body, so collages should spend money to their facilities to help students to be in a good health and to enhance their studying. For example, when I was in pharmacy school, our biology professor explained to us that sports including exercise are very essential to increase the circulation of the blood and this in turn will increase the oxygen go to the our brain. In fact, He asserted that this will endorse the ability of the brain to take more information that the students receive. In addition, this will improve the memory so they will able to memorize the information in text books. Actually, he encourged us to be a member in the sports club in the campus, so I decided to share there and I engaged in tennis team. It was extremely beneficial to my health and to my education. This experience taught me that universities should add money for sports facilities.
Second, sports activities will motivate students and this will attract more students to universities. Some students have interest in sports and they will be appealed to universities that have more developed sport activities such as more participating in games and more advance one. For instance, three years ago, my brother graduated from high school and he didn't like to attend a university because he likes playing basketball. Actually, my parents were disappointed because of that but I talked with my brother about a university that has a good reputaion of basketball team. Besides, this team has a lot of performances over the world and I told him that he could engage in this team and study their so he will manage his time between education and his interest. Surprisingly, he motivated and convinced to attend that collage and he succeed in his education and in his playing because he played a lot of games and he recieved an award, so this supported him to be an effective person in the world. without this sports in the university, he wouldn't have finished his study. As we clearly see, sports activities are important for students.
By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I firmly concur that universities should spend the same money for sports activities as the libraries because they are worthwhile and they have many advantages socialy and they are good for health.
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2018-07-28 | AmyWang | 80 | view |
2018-11-15 | Madai Montano | 70 | view |
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they will able to memorize
they will be able to memorize
Sentence: For example, when I was in pharmacy school, our biology professor explained to us that sports including exercise are very essential to increase the circulation of the blood and this in turn will increase the oxygen go to the our brain.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to the and our
Sentence: Actually, he encourged us to be a member in the sports club in the campus, so I decided to share there and I engaged in tennis team.
Error: encourged Suggestion: encouraged
Sentence: Actually, my parents were disappointed because of that but I talked with my brother about a university that has a good reputaion of basketball team.
Error: reputaion Suggestion: reputation
Sentence: Surprisingly, he motivated and convinced to attend that collage and he succeed in his education and in his playing because he played a lot of games and he recieved an award, so this supported him to be an effective person in the world. without this sports in the university, he wouldn't have finished his study.
Error: collage Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: recieved Suggestion: received
Sentence: By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I firmly concur that universities should spend the same money for sports activities as the libraries because they are worthwhile and they have many advantages socialy and they are good for health.
Error: socialy Suggestion: social
flaws:
No. of Words: 479 while No. of Different Words: 203
Need to learn how to express ideas with less content.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 479 350
No. of Characters: 2305 1500
No. of Different Words: 203 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.678 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.812 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.715 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.211 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.792 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.487 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.201 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5