Nowadays young people admire sports stars though they often do not set a good example Do you think this is a positive or negative development

The past few years have seen a dramatic increase in youngsters who look up to sports stars as role-models although not many famous athletes could have good personal qualities. In my opinion, this trend could bring/result in both negative and positive sides.

On the one hand, young people’s admiration has two main benefits. Firstly, the lessons of overcoming difficulties and obstacles behind the success of renowned sportspeople could inspire adolescents to have a sense of achievement. It is common that in order to become successful, an athlete has undergone various intensive training programs as well as conquers the feeling of failure. Thus, youngsters would have more motivation to pursue their dream when they idolize a determined and hard-working sports star. Secondly, loving a sportsperson could encourage students to make use of their free time to do exercise or play sports, which is beneficial for their physical well-being.

On the other hand, the adoration of youngsters towards sports players might bring some adverse impacts. In fact, most adolescents are extremely impulsive so they could follow bad behaviors of their idols without considering whether they are right or wrong. For instance, big fans and descendants of Lance Armstrong, who is a well-known cycling athlete, may mimic his action of taking performance enhancing drugs while participating in competitions to win at all costs. In addition to this, sports stars often earn a huge amount of/a great deal of money so they tend to immerse themselves in materialistic lifestyle with parties and nightclubs rather than attending charitable activities, which could create the detrimental influence on the personality of their admirers who are at age of puberty. Thus, in order to form youngsters’ good personalities, the parents should educate them to follow only the good virtues of their idols.

In conclusion, idolizing famous athletes could bring both positive and negative influences on young people. Therefore, the adolescents need to be taught about what they should and should not learn from their idols.

Votes
Average: 8 (2 votes)

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, well, while, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, as well as, in my opinion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 7.85571142285 178% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 24.0651302605 83% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 41.998997996 117% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1777.0 1615.20841683 110% => OK
No of words: 327.0 315.596192385 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.43425076453 5.12529762239 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25242769721 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96147332148 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 176.041082164 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.648318042813 0.561755894193 115% => OK
syllable_count: 528.3 506.74238477 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 5.43587174349 37% => OK
Article: 6.0 2.52805611222 237% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.4458949485 49.4020404114 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.928571429 106.682146367 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3571428571 20.7667163134 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 12.7142857143 7.06120827912 180% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183311784263 0.244688304435 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0589257697952 0.084324248473 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0433025391238 0.0667982634062 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10606383419 0.151304729494 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.010676252361 0.056905535591 19% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 13.0946893788 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 50.2224549098 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.3001002004 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.51 12.4159519038 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.61 8.58950901804 112% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 78.4519038076 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.