Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.
It is true, that if an individual does not change the organisation he works for,he has significant benefits. The first reason is that he is familiar with the working environment, knows the history of the company and all its loyal customers. He also has more opportunities to be promoted, because dedicated workers have always been highly valued. A further reason is greater material benefits when a person is retired. People who are less likely to take risks in life choose staying with the same organisation, and soon they get accustomed to everyday routine, feel comfortable and do not want any changes.
However, if a man strives for higher summits and broader horisonts, he should follow another path and work in different places, otherwise he cannot compare employment conditions and try himself in different areas. Another reason is a chance to expand his knowledge. After meeting new people, adapting to new working conditions and trying something unknown, there is a desire to learn more, which leads to a deeper understanding of things. Working in a diverse environment is like ‘fresh air, that keeps a person’s creativity at a high level. Social contacts can be broadened as well, consequently social life can be enriched. If an employee is talented, enthusiastic and honest, these qualities cannot remain unnoticed, although it might take longer to get a promotion in a new place. G.B.Show wrote:”Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” I am convinced that changing working environment provides more opportunities for “creating yourself”. Undoubtedly, if an individual is not afraid of obstacles and has a determination to achieve something worthy in life, he should choose challenges and overtake them. This is the right, but not the shortest way to success.
In conclusion, there are more benefits associated with changing a working environment than staying at a particular workplace.
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Sentence: However, if a man strives for higher summits and broader horisonts, he should follow another path and work in different places, otherwise he cannot compare employment conditions and try himself in different areas.
Error: horisonts Suggestion: horizons
flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5 //need an introduction paragraph.
and better to put two paragraphs for 'however...'
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5 paragraphs are the ideal format:
para 1: introduction
para 2: It is true,....
para 3: However,...
para 4: In addition...(continue for However)
para 5: conclusion
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 312 350
No. of Characters: 1571 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.203 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.035 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.901 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.353 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.138 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.413 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5