"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author of the letter analyses a study on the effect of birth order on an individual's stimulation. He claims that in stimulating conditions first born humans and monkeys as well first time mother monkeys produced high level of the hormone cortisol. While this assumption may be through, the writer needs to provide explanations on the origin of the various studies and claims made in the letter.
First, the author cited a research that used eighteen rhesus monkeys to explain how stimulating conditions can produce up to twice the hormone cortisol in first born infant monkey. However, to strengthen this claim, the author would have explained the conditions under which the research was carried out, how the researchers arrived at the eighteen monkeys they used in the research. One could argue that the population considered in the research is too small, but if they could explain how they arrived at the sample - the eighteen monkeys - it would strengthen the claims made.
Additionally, he states that firstborn humans produce high level of cortisol under stimulating conditions. Perhaps, An explanation on how this observation was made would help strengthen it. Further explanation on the number of persons studied, whether or not they were isolated, and other conditions they were subjected to, would definitely help to understand and accept or reject the claim.
The author also mentioned that first-time mother monkeys during pregnancy produced higher level of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring. He also failed to explain how the study on the first-time mother monkeys was carried out. What if any of the monkeys used in the study has had a baby before or an aborted pregnancy? This would effectively weaken this argument.
In conclusion, the writer needs to provide explanations to the claims and assumptions made in this article to corroborate his argument.
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flaws:
No. of Words: 305 350
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Write the essay with more vocabulary words.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 305 350
No. of Characters: 1554 1500
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.179 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.095 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.686 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.786 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.775 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.635 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5