Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The recommendation made in the argument, or advertisement rather, is that every child should attend Pirouettes Ballet School (PBS), because of the international experience of teachers at the school and the placement of its alumni. However, some questions need to be answered to evaluate and validate the argument and the consequent suggestion.
The first claim itself, that PBS is the clear choice for "any" child (emphasis added), is tenuous. What if a child is not interested in learning ballet? Further, every child may not be able to afford to join the school. Moreover, it is not clear whether the school accepts amateurs, or only those with at least some basic training can join? The claim needs to tempered so as to not appear as a generalization.
In addition, the claim regarding PBS having the most intensive program in Elmtown is unsubstantiated. Which agency has evaluated the programs of the dance schools in Elmtowm? On what basis was the evaluation made, and what exactly is the definition of an "intensive" curriculum? Answers to all these questions are necessary before making an informed decision about the credibility of PBS.
Finally, the claims that the teachers at PBS have international experience, and the alumni of the school have become professional dancers need further clarification. Did the teachers gain experience while they were at PBS or before that? Did the alumni who got placements with "top" dance repertories study somewhere else in addition to PBS? Finally, how many of the school's students have got these placements needs to be clarified.
It is obvious that any advertisement will make an attempt to paint a rosy picture of its product or service. In that regard, the advertisement's claims and recommendation do not appear outlandish. However, further substantiation of the claims is required to establish the credentials of the dance school in question.
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Sentence: The claim needs to tempered so as to not appear as a generalization.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and tempered
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to to and not
flaws:
No. of Words: 306 350 (need more words)
Sentence Length SD: 5.548 7.5
Read this link to understand What is sentence length SD:
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 306 350
No. of Characters: 1544 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.182 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.046 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.983 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.548 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5