The table below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010

A lot of citizens think that continuing to study at university or college can be the best way to guarantee their successful career, whereas others believe working right after school is much better. However, I firmly believe that work after college or university is the best in many respects, it will be guaranteed for a longer time.
Beginning with the first reason, making me disagree with this opinion is that the knowledge gained in university programs is an important reason for more opportunities to apply for jobs. Recruiters liked the newly graduated students, they are students who are well trained in knowledge, equipped with the necessary skills and are more competitive in the job market. However, they do not have more experience than people who have been working after school, but that is not the problem too large for the majority of jobs. For example, in the business, the staff of this sector should have the knowledge for the economy to calculate the data.
Moreover, some job applicants have worked part-time during the student period, and it also more or less brings real experiences about many aspects of life. At the end of the academic year, they had internships at offices, companies, factories,... to help them gain practical experience related to the work they are studying. Especially, during the internship, final year students can be recognized by the company as official employees, if they show their competencies well. For residents who graduated in the famous universities, they do not need to worry about the problem of unemployment, because the training program and the quality of the students have created a reputation among employers.
In conclusion, I do not agree on the opinion, because going to work after going to school will be very difficult to ensure a long-term future in employment compared to going to work after university.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 196, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mpared to going to work after university
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, so, well, whereas, for example, in conclusion, more or less

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 7.0 200% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 1.00243902439 599% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 7.0 6.8 103% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 3.15609756098 222% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 20.0 5.60731707317 357% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 33.7804878049 133% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 3.97073170732 126% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1529.0 965.302439024 158% => OK
No of words: 308.0 196.424390244 157% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96428571429 4.92477711251 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18926351222 3.73543355544 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65544522772 2.65546596893 100% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 106.607317073 157% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.542207792208 0.547539520022 99% => OK
syllable_count: 489.6 283.868780488 172% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.45097560976 110% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.33902439024 23% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.07073170732 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 3.36585365854 30% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 8.94146341463 11% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 308.0 22.4926829268 1369% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 43.030603864 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 1529.0 112.824112599 1355% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 308.0 22.9334400587 1343% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 100.0 5.23603664747 1910% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 1.69756097561 59% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 3.70975609756 27% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.13902439024 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.09268292683 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0738335186095 0.215688989381 34% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0738335186095 0.103423049105 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0843802449381 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0395740660251 0.15604864568 25% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0325687417014 0.0819641961636 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 155.9 13.2329268293 1178% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -241.14 61.2550243902 -394% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 6.51609756098 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 123.4 10.3012195122 1198% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 12.97 11.4140731707 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 22.96 8.06136585366 285% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 79.0 40.7170731707 194% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 55.0 11.4329268293 481% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 125.2 10.9970731707 1138% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 13.0 11.0658536585 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.