The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"A recent national survey found that the majority of workers with access to the Internet at work had used company computers for personal or recreational activities, such as banking or playing games. In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Using electronic monitoring software is the best way to reduce the number of hours Climpson employees spend on personal or recreational activities. We predict that installing software to monitor employees' Internet use will allow us to prevent employees from wasting time, thereby increasing productivity and improving overall profits."
Concerning productivity of Climpson employees, its vice president asserts implementation of monitoring software, which will keep watch on employees' activity while using internet. To assess this recommendation, there are two primary questions which are must to be answered.
First question is , does Climpson really needs such software ? Of course, according to a national survey employees are found wasting their time over personal and recreational activities over internet, but does this problem persists in Climpson, is an important question. A nationwide survey can't be generalized for a wo...
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Sentence: Especially when if Climpson allows its employees to use mobile phone in office premises, although internet running on office computers could be monitored, but there is no way for company to check internet connections running on employees' mobile phones.
Description: A WH-adverb is not usually followed by a conjunction, subordinating
Suggestion: Refer to when and if
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 314 350
No. of Characters: 1791 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.21 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.704 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.083 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 130 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 109 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.933 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.584 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.588 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5