At least once a year, in people's life there are a very important events. Those moments are called birthday and wedding. The day when a person was born, is commonly known as a blessing. That is why, people tend to celebrate it annually. And a wedding is once in a lifetime moment, therefore it is should be celebrated. Unfortunately, nowadays, there is a problem which is faced by the society regarding celebrating the birthday or wedding. Some people convince that it seems costly and requires a high budget. On the other side, celebrating moment is a private matter and a high budget is not a problem.
On one side, people believe that birthday is a moment to reflect the life. So it doesn't have to be celebrated. In Indonesia for instance, some people prefer to do a social charity in their birthday rather than to celebrate it in five stars hotel. These people believe, perform a charity is more advantage than wasting money on one night party. And it is reflected a praise to God for the time in life.
But, on the other side, particularly young generation, there is a tend to celebrate birthday and wedding within a high class party. There are several reasons behind it. Firstly, held an amazing party represents the social status of the host. These people believe that it is important to show your status in social life especially in some big cities in the world. Secondly, celebrating birthday and wedding is the way to create a new circle of friends because it opens up a greater opportunity to meet new people.
Personally, I stand on celebrating moment depends on the needs and the capacity as the host. I believe it doesn't requires a high cost budget because the most important part is gathering with your acquaintances, family, and be blessed. I'm convince that having a party to celebrate moment is not the only way to remember the important moment in life. As far as I'm concerned it is totally wrong to try too hard to impress other people by celebrating moment with a very huge party. Overall, held a party is not a must item to celebrate the moment in life.
- Some people think that spending a lot on birthday celebrations and wedding is a waste of money.But others think that it is important to young people and the society.Discuss both views and give your opinion 70
- Some people think that young people should follow the traditions of their society and other think young people should be free to behave as they will Discuss both views and give your opinion 85
- Some people think that mothers should spend most of their time raising family, and therefore the government should support them financially. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples based on your own experience. 70
- Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life Discuss both the views and give your opinion 94
- In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? 70
Sentence: And a wedding is once in a lifetime moment, therefore it is should be celebrated.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to is and should
perform a charity is more advantage
performing a charity has more advantages
particularly young generation, there is a tend to celebrate birthday
particularly for young generation, there is a tend to celebrate birthday
I stand on celebrating moment depends on the needs and the capacity as the host.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
it doesn't requires a high cost
it doesn't require a high cost
I'm convince that
I'm convinced that
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 372 350
No. of Characters: 1663 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.392 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.47 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.591 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.174 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.888 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.348 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.293 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.45 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.043 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5