Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be?Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

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Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be?Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

Movies have become the fabulous source of amusement. Presently, the prevalence of watching foreign movies is gaining ground swiftly in this modern world. Therefore, the local movies are sent at the back seat. Here, I would like to account for the reasons behind it and need to support the local movies.

There are multifarious reasons behind this phenomenon. First and foremost, globalisation plays a gigantic role to stimulate people towards the movies of other nations. To illustrate, people not only travel to other parts of the world for education, enjoyment and employment due to the ever gro...

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I would like to account for the reasons behind it and need to support the local movies.
Description: what is the subject for 'need'? can you re-write this sentence?

the people will not be diverted away from their cultural values who are being out of track by watching western movies nowadays.
people who are being out of track by watching western movies nowadays will not be diverted away from their cultural values . //'who' should follow people

is essential to meet the requirements of people and flourish the progress of the cinema.
Description: 'flourish' is not used properly, better to use it as a noun
suggested:
is essential to meet the requirements of people and the flourish of the cinema.

must confer aids of money
must confer the aids of money

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 376 350
No. of Characters: 1990 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.403 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.293 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.811 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.026 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Sir I want to know it there the same examiner who was checking my earlier essays on pages 1to 10 or is hthere different examiner ????????

Because I was not ever informed about problems of using article the and the use of who

Plz let me know and advice what is appropriate for me

Ok sir , I want to know have the examiners in real Ielts
Test been very very strict compared to earlier ?????

And may I know what exactly made you think of being very strict
Towards grammar , whether it was feedback of test taker s or anything else

And if it was feedback than what was their in it ??

We check the feedback from users. If they remove grammar errors, they got desired marks. So we paid more attention on grammar and sentence structure.

Take an example of this user:
http://www.testbig.com/users/bocahnakal

Seven month ago, he could only get 5.5 because of grammar errors:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-ii-essays/some-people-believe…

he tried hard to remove grammar issues and he got 7.0 recently in real IELTS exam:
http://www.testbig.com/question/thank-you-sir