Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others believe there are other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The topic of whether economic success is the key element to determine one’s happiness is of concern for many people. Some people believe that being rich can definitely make people happy, while others disagree. As for me, I do not agree the former.
Those who assert economic status hold the following reasons. Firstly, the wealthy ones can be considered as a successful entrepreneur. It is generally accepted that the rich have run an outstanding business or had a superior career performance. They have a sense of achievement by being granted a salary raise or annual bonus. Secondly, some people enjoy the material possessions and physical comfort. Holding a large amount of money, people are able to afford a spacious apartment or a luxurious bag, which means they can pursue a life with many expensive items.
However, there are opposing voices. Some others believe that one’s happiness cannot be achieved by financial condition alone. To start with, a harmonious family can satisfy people’s sense of happiness. Without the emotional support from their family member, people will feel insecure and unaccepted, although they can be extremely rich. Secondly, the lifestyle determines people’s wellbeing. For example, one will feel joyful if he involves in activities such as fishing and rock climbing. In the other words, people get satisfied when they have the chance to maintain a healthy or activate lifestyle.
I personally believe that family and personal lifestyle are more important to one’s happiness. Although economic achievement seems to be a long term goal for many people, it cannot fulfil one’s emotional satisfaction. In order to live in a happy mode, people should pay more attention to the ones they love and the passion of their hobbies. In this way, they will gain the spiritual happiness instead of simply owning lots of money.
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Sentence: Although economic achievement seems to be a long term goal for many people, it cannot fulfil one's emotional satisfaction.
Error: fulfil Suggestion: fulfill
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 15 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.84 7.5
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 300 350
No. of Characters: 1511 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.162 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.037 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.606 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.84 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.287 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.453 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.044 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5