Dancing plays an important role in a culture. Do you agree with the statement or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Culture is the characteristics and the knowledge of a group of people in a community which defines by cuisine, social behaviors, religion, what they wear, how they wear it, how they greet people, how they behave their loved ones, music, art and a million other things. Dancing, as an art form, is a way of communicating, and thus plays an important role in a culture. My arguments for holding this position are that, not only can people express their emotions through dancing but also can present their traditions.
The main reason why I hold this idea about the important role of dancing in a culture is that people express their feelings through organized movements of dancing. There are special dances that are performed during celebrations, and also different dances are carried out during the time of grief. For example, in my country, Iran, there is a specific tribe called Lor, the people in this community have a kind of dancing that is performed when someone is passed on. Therefore, this dance warn a death. As you can see, particular ceremonies goes with particular dances that show the intention of that gathering.
The second reason is that dancing is utilized to manifest special rites within a community. This rituals form a huge part of individual’s culture. For example, American first nations, or so called, red Indians, have different kind of dances and also related music for performing their daily routines like hunting. In a documentary that I once saw, Red Indians were preparing themselves for hunting and they had worn special costumes that had their own special purpose and meaning. For instance, the huge head coverings which had the shape of predetor’s head was used for scaring the prey, and all the process of hunting was accompanied by a unique dance. What I’ve perceived from the mentioned show is that whenever I see this kind of costume and dancing I understand the people are going hunting.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the statement that dancing plays an important role in a culture. Not only are different sentiments conveyed by dancing, but also various rites are performed using dances.
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not only can people express their emotions through dancing but also can present their traditions.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: This rituals form a huge part of individual's culture.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to This and rituals
flaws:
Don't use 'not only...but also...' a lot of times in one essay. One time is enough.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 359 350
No. of Characters: 1731 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.353 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.822 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.571 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.438 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.387 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.504 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.057 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5