Many people believe that it is very important to make large amount of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each view point and take a stand. Give specific reasons for your position.
Although I believe that money has a crucial role in living a convenient life, I do completely disagree that larger amount of money may necessarily bring happiness and satisfaction to life.
The modern life is highly specialized and so deeply dependent on mutual exchanges of services or products with money. It is obvious that having more money may provide the owner with wider range of opportunity to have products and services of rather high quality. For example, while a low-income family may afford only a congested apartment in a crowded neighborhood, a more prosperous family can buy a luxury penthouse in a wealthy area, which supplies the residents with better civic facilities.
However, satisfaction is not obtained by possession, actually, it relates to the attitude of people toward life. For example, a family that can live in a commodity of its own may be the happiest family on the earth due to well established personal connections. They may not have a large screen TV or a Side-by-side huge refrigerator but they will put value on love and family bonds and spend a happy time together in spite of the mentioned shortages.
In conclusion, I think that to have a comfortable living there should be a base amount of money but it should be perceived just as a way to achieve the basic material for a life. Living a happy live depends on being satisfied with what we have and try to enjoy our life beside our beloved persons of life.
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Comments
Oh! God! I made a mistake in
Oh! God!
I made a mistake in estimating my time and became nervous and confused so that didn't understand the main topic. I wrote about it again in the right time length and posted again!
Well, this is not a 'agree/disagree' type essay. It is 'advantages/disadvantages' type. Read the topic carefully. It is out of topic to say ' I do completely disagree that larger amount of money may necessarily bring happiness and satisfaction'.
Write the essay according to the requirements:
"Analyze each view point and take a stand".
So the correct pattern is:
para 1 : introduction. two views
para 2: Analyze view 1
para 3: Analyze view 2
para 4: my stand and reasons
flaws:
No. of Words: 250 350
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 15 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 250 350
No. of Characters: 1175 1500
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.976 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.7 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.779 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 85 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.795 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.889 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.394 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.666 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5