The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extend do you agree?
It is certainly true that the main responsibility of every government is providing the essential needs to a society and developing a nation. There is an issue that the government should not spend money on the artwork which is less important than other areas. However, some people think that education is a very important for the future of a nation and the government should pay attention to education rather than art, while others disagree with these and think that art areas still need to be supported by the government. Both sides are very interesting that need to be discussed carefully.
On the one hand, there are many reasons to support the idea that art play an important part to a society. First and foremost, art is related to the identity and unity of people in a country. No one can argue that art reflects the creativity of people in a certain time and place. Traditional artwork can present national customs and peoples’ lifestyle in the past which can emphasis people to realize the value of their culture and so pound with their tradition. Moreover, subsidizing on art works not only help to increase harmony of people in a country but also boost tourism of a nation. If the government beautifies a city by decorating art works, it can attract the number of foreign tourists and also can boost economy.
On the other hand, there are multifarious reasons to support the latter idea. It is defiantly true that subsidizing on education by the government is more important than paying attention on art. Developing education can produce better quality citizens and advanced skill employees to the work market. As a result, the high quality employees can help to develop and improve a nation eventually. Without sufficient support from the government in education, it can lead to lack professional workers or other quality workers to maintain services and develop a nation.
To sum up, in my opinion, even though national art work has sentimental value to a nation and citizens, it is still not necessary over than education. I think the government should pay attention to improving education rather than subsidizing art work. This is because improving education can lead to the improvement of a nation in the future.
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education is a very important for the future of a nation
education is very important for the future of a nation
Sentence: Traditional artwork can present national customs and peoples' lifestyle in the past which can emphasis people to realize the value of their culture and so pound with their tradition.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to can and emphasis
subsidizing on art works not only help to increase
subsidizing on art works not only helps to increase
flaws:
The introduction paragraph is not developed well. It is verbose.
Don't always use 'can' as verbs:
Developing education can produce better quality citizens and advanced skill employees to the work market.
As a result, the high quality employees can help to develop and improve a nation eventually.
Without sufficient support from the government in education, it can lead to lack professional workers
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 376 350
No. of Characters: 1817 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.403 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.832 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.716 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.889 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.615 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.532 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5