Some people prefer to take a position in a company and work for the company. Other people think it is better to go into business for themselves. Which do you think it is better? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.
One of the most important aspects of everyone’s life is his or her work and the work that people do highly effects their lives. Also, the characteristics and goals of people determines their jobs. General speaking, some people run their own buiseness while others prefer to work for a company or office. Personally I prefer to have my own business because its more lucrative and interesting for me.
First of all, if I run my own business and go into buiseness for myself I can make more money and gurantee a better life for myself. In fact, when I’m working for myself I’m more determined to try harder and make my buiseness more successful which bring about higher profits and salary for myself. For example, my older brother stablished his own buiseness only three years ago and by hardworking and expanding his buiseness he own a very fancy house and a laxtury car now. On the other hand, my father is working for a company for more than twenty years and at the end he has almost nothing except a monthly salary. So, if I run my own company, I’ll be more determined to enhance my business and it will lead to high profits which help me achieve a life with better quality.
In addition, I’m an energetic person and so starting a company is more interesting and challenging for me. Although working for a company is less stressfull rather than starting my own buiseness, I strongly prefer to accept the challenge and run a new buiseness. In other words, I’m not a person who likes to have a stedy and almost meaningless life; I prefer to have a challenging life steeped in vissicitudes of life. So, I prefer to start my own buiseness and face with numerous bariers in my way and try hard to triumph the bariers. For example, although I’m not that much expert in the area of computer science, I really enjoy stablishing a company in the area of Artificial Intelligence and try to become an expert in this area.
In summary, I like to start my own buiseness rather than taking a position in other companies. Personally I think if I stablish my own buiseness there is higher possibility to achieve greater successes and higher profits. Moreover, I enjoy being in challenging situation and running a company and trying to enhance and improve it is a the exact life I’ve always been questing for. However, everyone should measure his or her talents and then reasonably chose to run his or her own company or take a position in other a company.
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Sentence: One of the most important aspects of everyone's life is his or her work and the work that people do highly effects their lives.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to effects and their
the characteristics and goals of people determines their jobs
the characteristics and goals of people determine their jobs
Sentence: For example, my older brother stablished his own buiseness only three years ago and by hardworking and expanding his buiseness he own a very fancy house and a laxtury car now.
Description: The fragment he own a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace own with verb, past tense
Sentence: Moreover, I enjoy being in challenging situation and running a company and trying to enhance and improve it is a the exact life I've always been questing for.
Description: The token a is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to a and the
Sentence: General speaking, some people run their own buiseness while others prefer to work for a company or office.
Error: buiseness Suggestion: business
Sentence: First of all, if I run my own business and go into buiseness for myself I can make more money and gurantee a better life for myself.
Error: buiseness Suggestion: business
Error: gurantee Suggestion: guarantee
Sentence: In fact, when I'm working for myself I'm more determined to try harder and make my buiseness more successful which bring about higher profits and salary for myself.
Error: buiseness Suggestion: business
Sentence: For example, my older brother stablished his own buiseness only three years ago and by hardworking and expanding his buiseness he own a very fancy house and a laxtury car now.
Error: buiseness Suggestion: business
Error: laxtury Suggestion: ?
Error: stablished Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Although working for a company is less stressfull rather than starting my own buiseness, I strongly prefer to accept the challenge and run a new buiseness.
Error: stressfull Suggestion: stressful
Error: buiseness Suggestion: business
Sentence: In other words, I'm not a person who likes to have a stedy and almost meaningless life; I prefer to have a challenging life steeped in vissicitudes of life.
Error: vissicitudes Suggestion: dissociates
Error: stedy Suggestion: steady
Sentence: So, I prefer to start my own buiseness and face with numerous bariers in my way and try hard to triumph the bariers.
Error: bariers Suggestion: barters
Error: buiseness Suggestion: business
Sentence: For example, although I'm not that much expert in the area of computer science, I really enjoy stablishing a company in the area of Artificial Intelligence and try to become an expert in this area.
Error: stablishing Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In summary, I like to start my own buiseness rather than taking a position in other companies.
Error: buiseness Suggestion: business
Sentence: Personally I think if I stablish my own buiseness there is higher possibility to achieve greater successes and higher profits.
Error: stablish Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: buiseness Suggestion: business
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 17 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 17 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 443 350
No. of Characters: 1968 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.588 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.442 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.642 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.611 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.55 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.148 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5