What are the most important pieces of advice that you would give visitors to your country. Give reasons and details to support your response.

Essay topics:

What are the most important pieces of advice that you would give visitors to your country. Give reasons and details to support your response.

My country, Iran, is a vast and old country with numerous treasures and charachteristics which make it a desiarable destination for many visitors and tourists. Each year, over 10 million tourists come to visit our astonishing country. Although there are huge amount of information about my country on the Internet, as a native I have some special pieces of advice for tourists.

First of all, I know a location in Iran named Takhte-Jamshid which is a newly discovered and a wonderfull place for visitors, but there is a little information on it on the internet and the most of the tourists are not familiar with this astonishing place. I strongly suggest the tourists to visit this place because it is both traditional and naturally eye-catching. The main building of this place is named Pasargad and has been built over 2000 years ago during the Kouroshe-Kabir dynasti. There are beautifull paintings on it’s wall which are about the king’s battles. Moreover, the nature of that neighborhood is highly attractive and green. There also exist a glorious lake in that place which cause a pleasant weather around that neighbourhood. Personally I love the serenity of that neighborhood which provides astounding atmosphere to be calm and relax. So, although Takhte-Jamshid is not that much famous, it is a traditional place with more than 2000 years of history.

In addition, some local foods in Iran are very delicious and worth to try. As far as I know, most of the tourist prefer to eat fast food in Iran. I believe that the most important reason for that is that they do not have access to Iranian food easily. While, the local food in Iran are very delicious and even healthy. For example, Ghorme-Sabzi which is a local food in Iran is not only very tasty but also it contains a lot of vegetables which are beneficial for our health. Therefore, I strongly suggest the visitors to find traditional restaurant and try Iranian local food.

In summary, many visitors come to visit my country each year. However, the websites about treasures of my country do not contain information about newly discovered places. I’ve been livening in Iran for more than 30 years and as a native person I have two special pieces of advice for visitors. Firstly, I suggest them to visit Takhte-Jamshid which is a traditional and beautifull place. Secondly, I suggest the tourists to try Iranian food because they are tasty and healthy. Moreover, I’ll suggest all of the Iranian to lunch websites which include information about undiscovered places of Iran.

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2015-07-27 sjjd.fouladvand@gmail.com 25 view
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is not only very tasty but also it contains a lot of vegetables
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

Sentence: My country, Iran, is a vast and old country with numerous treasures and charachteristics which make it a desiarable destination for many visitors and tourists.
Error: charachteristics Suggestion: characteristics
Error: desiarable Suggestion: desirable

Sentence: First of all, I know a location in Iran named Takhte-Jamshid which is a newly discovered and a wonderfull place for visitors, but there is a little information on it on the internet and the most of the tourists are not familiar with this astonishing place.
Error: wonderfull Suggestion: wonderful

Sentence: The main building of this place is named Pasargad and has been built over 2000 years ago during the Kouroshe-Kabir dynasti.
Error: dynasti Suggestion: dynasty

Sentence: There are beautifull paintings on it's wall which are about the king's battles.
Error: beautifull Suggestion: beautiful

Sentence: Firstly, I suggest them to visit Takhte-Jamshid which is a traditional and beautifull place.
Error: beautifull Suggestion: beautiful

flaws:
1. The essay is not exactly right on the topic. you were writing 'What are the most important pieces of information that you would give visitors', the topic actually is about 'What are the most important pieces of advice that you would give visitors'.

2.No. of Words: 430 while No. of Different Words: 184

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? in 30
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 430 350
No. of Characters: 2065 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.554 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.802 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.83 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.696 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.561 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.565 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.481 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5