The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The above argument by the Board of Directors Monarch is flawed because of the numerous reasons. Primarily the argument have many unwarranted assumptions because both the book store is not the same and the assumptions are obscure on their locations. The success of the regel book store cant determine the success of the monarch book store.
The argument fails to prove any justification that twenty years in the same location doesn't mean the main factor for their success. What if there is only few books store in their location. May be lifestyle near the people in the regel book store be sophisticated and the monarch is obselete. The economic status of the region also plays a vital role in the success.
The argument also states the the population of the young children below age 10 is decreased last year by the most recent national census, but population can waver from year to year. Replacing the children's section to cafe may not be hit because some erudite persons may consider the cafe is not important than the children section. And it is difficult to predict the success because the monarch is successful for twenty years by their wide variety of selection of books.By neglecting the children's section may also results in loosing customers.
Regel book store may succeed based of their location and unique techniques what if monarch as it is functioning since 20 years where their techniques are obsolete.May be there will be few cafes in the regel store location so their cafeteria become a instant hit. What happens if the monarch have many cafes nearby, it may lead to failure.
Thus from the argument we cant determine the success of the monarch by simply over-viewing the regel books success. If the above assumptions are viewed proper and taken into account the monarch books store may succeed in opening the cafe.
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Sentence: Primarily the argument have many unwarranted assumptions because both the books company is not the same and the assumptions are unclear.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to books and company
Sentence: The success of the regel books store cant determine the success of the monarch book store.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to books and store
Sentence: The argument fails to prove any justification that twenty years in the same location means the store knows well about the peoples attitude and their response for opening the cafe.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to peoples and attitude
Sentence: May be lives near the people in the regel books store be sophisticated and rich so hey can afford.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to books and store
Sentence: the argument also stats the the population of the young childrenupto age 10 is decreased last year by the census, but population can waver from year to year. discontinuing the children section may affect the name of the store because some erudite persons may consider the cafe is not important then the children section.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to the and the
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and section
Sentence: Children knowledge may be considered by the public than the cafe.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to Children and knowledge
Sentence: Regel books store may succeed based their location and unique techniques what if monarch as it is functioning since 20 years where their techniques are obsolete.May be there will be few cafes in the regel store location.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to books and store
Sentence: Thus from the argument we cant determine the success of the monarch by simply over-viewing the regel books success.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to books and success
Sentence: If the above assumptions are viewed proper and taken into account the monarch books store may succeed in opening the cafe.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to books and store
Sentence: the argument also stats the the population of the young childrenupto age 10 is decreased last year by the census, but population can waver from year to year. discontinuing the children section may affect the name of the store because some erudite persons may consider the cafe is not important then the children section.
Error: childrenupto Suggestion: children up to
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
No. of Words: 264 350
read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-recommend…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 264 350
No. of Characters: 1273 1500
No. of Different Words: 133 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.031 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.822 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.47 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 79 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.416 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.404 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.669 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5