A recent study indicates that children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the United States, despite the fact that people in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal receive little to no professional dental care, while people in suburban areas in the United States see a dentist an average of 1.25 times per year. Thus, regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The conclusion to the explanation is not at all cogent. Other convincing nuances will reveal the actual reason behind the whole topic. There are many factors which play a role on the dental health of an individual and statement is totally unrealistic.
Children in the hilly areas have access to natural way of taking care of their health especially in remote areas.A bumpy ride or almost inaccessible areas in the hills prevent infiltration of cosmetic goods in such high altitude. People these use branches of tree leaves to brush their teeth which is has been proposed since the vedic period. Clean crystal clear stream water, ripe apples in the higher Himalayas and the inchoate fruits in the lush valleys amidst the blue mountains and the unpolluted azure sky added on to by the fresh air is good for the physical health of a human. Such factors are important because children in United States even in the suburban areas are exposed to medicated toothpaste. These toothpaste are treated chemically and chemicals always have some side effects. The murky atmosphere in such well accessible places causes health diseases as well.
The study is limiting itself to the dental care of the individuals without procuring the information of the other parts of the body which might show the same changes thus not portraying the disparate dental health enigmatic. That would reveal cause behind the effect and a generalization can be done.
The number of dentists a person visits also does not reveal the health care of an area. Nepal being a less developed country compared to the US, dental practice may be lacking due to lack of infrastructure. This situation is incipient since school education for eg schools bereft of good biology teachers, less interest of students in dental education, less number of dental colleges, status of dentists in the society and the money involved in it. So even if a rustic villager is excruciating with dental pain the woebegone does not have any option but wait for the pain to abate.
People in US might be more financially sound so they can afford to visit a doctor in case of scintilla pain but a penury stricken man does not have any way out of the predicament.
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Sentence: People these use branches of tree leaves to brush their teeth which is has been proposed since the vedic period.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and has
Sentence: Clean crystal clear stream water, ripe apples in the higher Himalayas and the inchoate fruits in the lush valleys amidst the blue mountains and the unpolluted azure sky added on to by the fresh air is good for the physical health of a human.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to crystal and clear
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to to and by
Sentence: People these use branches of tree leaves to brush their teeth which is has been proposed since the vedic period.
Error: vedic Suggestion: medic
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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flaws:
This is a topic for new GRE. read this: 'Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations...'. It means there are no loopholes in the statement.
read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/recent-study-indicates-children-l…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 375 350
No. of Characters: 1798 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.401 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.795 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.552 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.438 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.135 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.547 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5