Do you agree or disagree withthe following statement? Cars have made a greater impact on society than airplanes. Use specific reasons and examples to rupport your opinion.

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Do you agree or disagree withthe following statement? Cars have made a greater impact on society than airplanes. Use specific reasons and examples to rupport your opinion.

There are different opinions among many people regarding whether cars have greater impact on this community than airplanes. It sounds reasonable to me that using airplanes have a whole host of positive effect on our society in some aspect. However, I believed that cars have affected greatly and positively to our society. In this essay, I will present a couple of rationales to support my opinions in detail.

Most of all, using cars has made it easy for people to meet each other. In other words, it reduces the time needed to come and go from long distance. For example, it makes people trip anywhere in this country just in a day. However, without cars, it took 2~3 days to go from house to specific place in the past. In particular, it was really hard to go to have family time in holiday named Chuseok, which are one of the biggest holiday in Korea in the past. But since the automobiles developed, distance does not prevent people going to see their family even from long miles away. In this sense, it is safe to say that cars have strongly changed people's life style.

Moreover, cars brought about breakthrough to delivery system in our society in addition to conveying many people at one time. As we all know that big size cars like truck can transport a large amount of products efficiently with less cost than by using labor of human. Recently, the survey conducted by SERI(Samsung Economic Research Institute), which is the biggest research center in Korea, surveyed over 1000 number of delivery companies, suggested that most people who are participated in this online survey, agreed that they are heavily depending on automobiles' delivery system, almost accounting for 70%. Although airplane can be used for conveying goods, it required more money and qualified experts to handle it. In this respect, cars are most efficient way to transfer products.

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2015-09-23 kkkarisma 70 view
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using airplanes have a whole host of positive effect
using airplanes has a whole host of positive effect

named Chuseok, which are one of the biggest holiday in Korea
named Chuseok, which is one of the biggest holidays in Korea

cars are most efficient way to transfer products.
cars are the most efficient way to transfer products.

flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5

Need one conclusion paragraph. better to have 4-5 paragraphs:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion

or:

para 1: introduction
para 2: idea one.
para 3: however, idea two
para 4: in my opinion...

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 319 350
No. of Characters: 1506 1500
No. of Different Words: 192 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.226 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.721 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.443 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.938 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.714 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.47 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5