Some young people take free time to do various activities, while others focus only on one activity. Which do you prefer?
As two states in personal development, 'concentrated training' and 'well-rounded experience' is a persistent dialectic in consideration of activity options, reflecting the deep structural ambivalence in contemporary society. Whilst considerable attention has been given to the role of specializing in one activity, deep engagement leads impressionable people to generate their opinions that adolescents should divert their spare time to merely one activity. However, such a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies in the modern context and should be scrutinized meticulously. As far as diversity, broader social relationships, and the virtuous circle it may form, I strongly hold that juveniles should give their priority to assorted activities in this social-driven universe.
What must be prioritized is that diverse activities instill young people a wider range of comprehensive horizons and alter every facet of life. To be more specific, in such an increasingly interconnected world, today's young people engage in communication with whose from different cultures and traditions, which leads them to entertain bolder visions that merely the control of academic knowledge. For example, participating in the English corner or German Beer Festival not only exhibit them unique traditions from different regions, but insist students to grasp how to respect people holding multiple viewpoints. Not to mention that surfing or hiking will absolutely trigger thorough mastery of people and nature, and apply abstract knowledge into practice. Moreover, let's don't forget that we are living in a society that has been overvaluing scientism and downgrading or stealing the limelight from artistically successful, visiting the modern art museum on a regular basis could expose scientifically-minded students to the environment surrounded by ancient paintings, sculptures, and exotic cultures, enhancing an appreciation of beauty.
What is equally worth discussing is that lavish hobbies would definitely extend the young generation's circle of new acquaintances in the real world, paving a solid way for their future life. Granted, switching into one after one different activities means all people and environment are so unpredictable and so unfamiliar that it would take the youth a while to get into the swing of things. However, thinking in terms of the fantastic outcome, it is also perfect timing for them to become acquainted with one another, and even rub shoulders with some of them. Considering young generations will inevitably bump into various obstacles, such as tough examinations, demanding professors, or overwhelming workload, maintaining connections with friends across a wide range of age, profession, gender, and even social-economic status will give them a helping hand at unexpected times.
Nevertheless, a voice arises that one skillful activity enables young people to rank higher in the corresponding field and thus strengthen their confidence. Ironically, it may sound reasonable at first glance, but if you take a closer look, overwhelmed by endless comparisons and self-assessments, juveniles' mentality will be exerted a negative impact, which may dampen their psychological strain. Contrary to this mentally healthy issue, engaging in wonderfully diverse activities could reduce the injuries of a single evaluation system and make them believe that the world is multidimensional and non-linear, and they themselves are three-dimensional and dynamically changing. There is no need to be exhausted with subjectively setting themselves in just one stable circumstance. Therefore, the more diverse activities, the better mental health will be maintained.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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...very facet of life. To be more specific, in such an increasingly interconnected w...
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...knowledge into practice. Moreover, lets dont forget that we are living in a society ...
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...ng professors, or overwhelming workload, maintaining connections with friends acr...
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...strengthen their confidence. Ironically, it may sound reasonable at first glance,...
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...just one stable circumstance. Therefore, the more diverse activities, the better ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, moreover, nevertheless, so, still, then, therefore, thus, well, while, as to, even so, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 13.8261648746 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3151.0 1977.66487455 159% => OK
No of words: 542.0 407.700716846 133% => OK
Chars per words: 5.81365313653 4.8611393121 120% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82502781895 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.34582434021 2.67179642975 125% => OK
Unique words: 335.0 212.727598566 157% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.618081180812 0.524837075471 118% => OK
syllable_count: 981.0 618.680645161 159% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.51630824373 119% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 9.0 1.86738351254 482% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 30.0 20.1344086022 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 73.1101190409 48.9658058833 149% => OK
Chars per sentence: 175.055555556 100.406767564 174% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.1111111111 20.6045352989 146% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.27777777778 5.45110844103 152% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.198188220926 0.236089414692 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0550563396432 0.076458572812 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0448184002229 0.0737576698707 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111544814252 0.150856017488 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0185297163179 0.0645574589148 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 21.0 11.7677419355 178% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 24.11 58.1214874552 41% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 6.10430107527 213% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 17.4 10.1575268817 171% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 17.01 10.9000537634 156% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 11.15 8.01818996416 139% => OK
difficult_words: 207.0 86.8835125448 238% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 17.0 10.002688172 170% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.0537634409 139% => OK
text_standard: 17.0 10.247311828 166% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.