The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet inappropriately from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. Installing software on company computers to detect employees' Internet use is the best way to prevent employees from wasting time on the job. It will foster a better work ethic at Climpson and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument
The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries recommends installing the software which monitors usage of the internet by the employee. This action supposedly will prevent workers from inappropriate usage of the internet for leisure activities and therefore it increases the Climpson's proceeds. Although the writer gives us some supportive evidences they should be carefully evaluated in order to give a comprehensive estimation of the soundness of the argument.
The vice president strongly believes that installation of the program which detects usage of the internet by personnel will lead to reduction of hours spend on playing and buying, however, the company's employees will have a plethora of possible ways to engage into undesirable activities via tables, smart phones and cell-phones. In modern society the availability of the internet is widespread and therefore the workers who have a desire to use working time for leisure will have this opportunity. Moreover, they may find alternative ways to remiss their duty, for instance, by reading paper books or news-paper surreptitiously in working place. The installation of a special software in employees' workstation will not prevent them from engaging in some kind of undesirable activities.
Moreover, the author of the argument avers that if employees do not engage into inappropriate usage of the internet their productivity will increase. Although, at the first gaze, this idea seems to be reasonable, the effect of the usage of the internet of workers productivity is not clear. The probability exists that employees will do the same volume of work but with slower pace due to the fact that no additional actions which aimed on personnel motivation is not mentioned in the argument. For instance, if it is expected from a worker to a type, for instance, a 200 report during the day, the employee may type it faster of slower base the celerity on time available. Therefore, author’s conclusion that productivity will increase is not warranted properly.
In conclusion, the author's opinion that installation of the monitoring program will prevent personnel from inappropriate usage of the internet is not supported properly due to the fact that workers can find new ways to avoid working, moreover, even if the policy leads to expected effect and employees cease spending their time on activities which are not connected with the work, the efficiency of workers may not improve.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
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flaws:
need one more argument. it goes here:
It will foster a better work ethic at Climpson. //Maybe people are angry when they realize they are monitored.
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In GRE, we need minimum 3 arguments.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory d Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 388 350
No. of Characters: 2036 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.438 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.247 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.952 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 105 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.846 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.287 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.391 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.58 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5