Independent TOEFL essay TPO 8 Agree or disagree Television advertising directed towards young children aged two to five should not be allowed

People are bombarded with advertisements on everyday life. Many people have different opinions about advertising. Prompt asserts that, young children should not exposed to commercials. I strongly disagree with this notion for two reasons and i will develop these ideas in the following paragraphs.

First of all, I see nothing wrong with promotions if they prepared correctly. What I mean when saying correctly? If there is no sexual or unwanted scenes and elements in the advertisement, there should not be any problem. In my opinion, there are government regulatory agencies that control advertisements in all sectors. Thus, if there is something wrong with promotion, it won't be published. In addition, because children usually watch child channels and its commercials are mostly designed for young children' interests, there seems no harm for children.

Secondly, no one can deny that children spend most of their time with watching cartoons et cetera. According to latest researches, it is useful for improving their imagination. In order to continue showing that kind of sfuffs, channels need advertisiment revenues. It is also beneficial for companies. If you are a company that produces toys, your major target group is children. Drawing from my own experience, it is really useful method and works very well. For instance, when my little brother was child and watching this kind of TV channels, he really gave a lot of attention to commercials that saw in the TV. Almost every day, he came and asked from my parents to buy a new toy that just saw in TV. Of course, I do admit that it can hurt family's budget, but for the reason i stated above, channels should display commercials.

In light of reasons mentioned, I strongly believe that television advertising aimed to children should be allowed.

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
Essay Categories
Independent TOEFL Writing
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 162, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: 'expose'
Suggestion: expose
...asserts that, young children should not exposed to commercials. I strongly disagree wit...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 243, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ee with this notion for two reasons and i will develop these ideas in the followi...
^
Line 5, column 110, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'to the latest'.
Suggestion: to the latest
... watching cartoons et cetera. According to latest researches, it is useful for improving ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 780, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...hurt familys budget, but for the reason i stated above, channels should display c...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, really, second, secondly, so, thus, well, for instance, i mean, in addition, kind of, of course, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 52.1666666667 61% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1519.0 1977.66487455 77% => OK
No of words: 295.0 407.700716846 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14915254237 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14434120667 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88216538979 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.627118644068 0.524837075471 119% => OK
syllable_count: 454.5 618.680645161 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.0603992716 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 75.95 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.75 20.6045352989 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.3 5.45110844103 134% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.152111690746 0.236089414692 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0424339516357 0.076458572812 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.055012096514 0.0737576698707 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.122390307488 0.150856017488 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0631220471196 0.0645574589148 98% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 58.1214874552 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.0 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.0 10.002688172 50% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 162, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: 'expose'
Suggestion: expose
...asserts that, young children should not exposed to commercials. I strongly disagree wit...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 243, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ee with this notion for two reasons and i will develop these ideas in the followi...
^
Line 5, column 110, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'to the latest'.
Suggestion: to the latest
... watching cartoons et cetera. According to latest researches, it is useful for improving ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 780, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...hurt familys budget, but for the reason i stated above, channels should display c...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, really, second, secondly, so, thus, well, for instance, i mean, in addition, kind of, of course, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 52.1666666667 61% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1519.0 1977.66487455 77% => OK
No of words: 295.0 407.700716846 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14915254237 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14434120667 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88216538979 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.627118644068 0.524837075471 119% => OK
syllable_count: 454.5 618.680645161 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.0603992716 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 75.95 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.75 20.6045352989 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.3 5.45110844103 134% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.152111690746 0.236089414692 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0424339516357 0.076458572812 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.055012096514 0.0737576698707 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.122390307488 0.150856017488 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0631220471196 0.0645574589148 98% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 58.1214874552 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.0 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.0 10.002688172 50% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.