In the society each career has a different effect on it. So in my opinion all of the scientists,engineers, artists and writers are important for the society. The following discussion reveals my view.
First of all, scientists and engineers are basic career of the society, by them the countries will reach to the first places in the world, the scientists explore a new and smart things that make the life goes better. For example when they were exploring the mobile instead of land phone in my view it was a revolution in technology, helps people a lot and the whole society. Furthermore the engineer builds a high , a beautiful building or places which attract a lot of tourists, furthermore make the city more beautiful.
Second, the society without artists and writers is meaningless, how? The artists provides a subject that reach to all person in the community, to the elderly people, adults, even the children. Many artists change the view of people by playing a character who is beautiful, nice, polite. This character reaches easily to the heart of the people and he can provide an idea and affects on the people's mind.furthermore,the writers, they are also playing an important career in the society by writing the daily journal which the people are reading it daily to know what's happen in the world,and many other writers wrote a very an important book that many scientists took a lot of information from it and used them in their research, in addition to many other books which the schools and colleges used them.
In conclusion, society needs the scientists, engineers, artists and writers to build a strong one, the society is meaningless if it uses one or two of them without others. It needs them all to make a new exploration, a new building, to let ideas reach to the people and writing books to educate their community.
- TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO 10 70
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- TPO 9 Integrated essay 48
What can i used instead of it
What can i used instead of it, and them in sentence: many scientists took a lot of information from it.
The artists provides a subject that reach to all person in the community,
The artists provide s a subject that reaches to all persons in the community,
to know what's happen in the world
to know what happens in the world
wrote a very an important book
wrote a very important book
many scientists took a lot of information from it and used them in their research
Description: 'it, them' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Different Words: 149 200
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 19 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 319 350
No. of Characters: 1484 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.226 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.652 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.575 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.538 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.037 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.554 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5