From my prespective, i totally agreed that educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past. The fast changing of the world make the kids pay less attention for education. The following discussion reveals my view.
First of all, if i'm comparing with the past, there are no much advancement in technology, everything was simple, the kids have more time and they are limiting with watching cartoon movie at speciefic time. Back to the years when i was in elemantory school the studying was my passion, nothing will make my mind busy. When i got back home, finished my lunch then i did my home work,no cell phones no online games. I had a lot of time to spend education. And i felt sorry if i lost my time with not useful thing.
But nowdays, the kids are buzy with invention of cell phones, online games, and if they need to study they are doing it much faster to get back to the cellphones or online games, especially when they have friends do the same thing. For instance my son was paying a lot of attention to the educatin, but at some period of time when he had a new online games, he was playing a lot which made him brought less grades at his school.
Last but not least, now days a lot of factors affect education of children, they found thier fun when using these technology and be frustrated if they don't. And i think the cell phones and online games attracts them well by new ideas and by using their favorite character. They feel greatfull when they are playing online with their friends sharing the fun moments together. Each of these factor attracts the child mind a way of education.in addition to all these factors in my opinion the families also gave their childrens' education less care than before.
To put everything in a nut shell, childrens's education is affecting by advancing in technologu such as the cell phones, online games so this lead the education is difficult task that it was in the past. They pull the child's mind a way of the education.
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?For success in future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.Use specific reasons and examples to support you answer. 50
- In any society the contributions of scientists and engineers are most important than the contributions of artists and writers 73
- Some people say that advertisement encourages to buy things we do not really need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your a 60
- TPO 34 60
- TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO 10 70
The fast changing of the world make the kids pay less attention for education.
The fast changing of the world makes the kids pay less attention for education.
if i lost my time with not useful thing.
if i lost my time without doing useful things.
the cell phones and online games attracts them well
the cell phones and online games attract them well
this lead the education is difficult task that it was in the past.
this leads the education more difficult than it was in the past.
Sentence: From my prespective, i totally agreed that educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past.
Error: prespective Suggestion: prospective
Sentence: First of all, if i'm comparing with the past, there are no much advancement in technology, everything was simple, the kids have more time and they are limiting with watching cartoon movie at speciefic time.
Error: speciefic Suggestion: specific
Sentence: Back to the years when i was in elemantory school the studying was my passion, nothing will make my mind busy.
Error: elemantory Suggestion: elementary
Sentence: But nowdays, the kids are buzy with invention of cell phones, online games, and if they need to study they are doing it much faster to get back to the cellphones or online games, especially when they have friends do the same thing.
Error: buzy Suggestion: busy
Error: nowdays Suggestion: ways
Sentence: For instance my son was paying a lot of attention to the educatin, but at some period of time when he had a new online games, he was playing a lot which made him brought less grades at his school.
Error: educatin Suggestion: education
Sentence: Last but not least, now days a lot of factors affect education of children, they found thier fun when using these technology and be frustrated if they don't. And i think the cell phones and online games attracts them well by new ideas and by using their favorite character.
Error: thier Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: They feel greatfull when they are playing online with their friends sharing the fun moments together.
Error: greatfull Suggestion: greatly
Sentence: Each of these factor attracts the child mind a way of education.in addition to all these factors in my opinion the families also gave their childrens' education less care than before.
Error: education.in Suggestion: education in
Error: childrens Suggestion: children
Sentence: To put everything in a nut shell, childrens's education is affecting by advancing in technologu such as the cell phones, online games so this lead the education is difficult task that it was in the past.
Error: technologu Suggestion: technology
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 366 350
No. of Characters: 1596 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.374 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.361 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.373 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.396 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.604 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5