Leaders like John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King have made important contributions to the people of the United States. Name another world leader you think is important. Give specific reasons for your choice.
World leaders are extraordinary figures who in turn have the brave to change the world. Their actions, their decisions, their speeches have an impressive effect on people and on our history. They may be different from each others, although there are some common features that markedly characterize them.
Alongside with John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, another person, first than word leader, learnt me a great lesson. He is Nelson Mandel. Nelson Mandela has been the leader of the anti-apatheid movement in South Africa. For several decades, he guided the pacific movement against the local White party in order to obtain equality in the country.
Firstly, I admire him because he had the courage to make an attempt to stop the conflicts which were bleeding his country. He started a politic party, spreading his non-violence ideas and his contents. He was a single man and still he made the difference. I feel a truly simpathy towards him, because he spent his own life to service his people's and country's needs.
Secondly, I think that Nelson Mandela is an example for future world leaders as he spent a good part of his life in jail. He has been imprisoned for having tried to change the south-african system. He made the difference not only because his ideas were right and his cause true but also because he has been patient and motivated. He never dispered even in the most difficult situations. He always tried to look passionate and committed to his country as he really was. That's why people loved him. That is also the clear reason why, he led the transition of South Africa from an apartheid status to a free apartheid status.
That journed has been a 40 years long struggle for him. I think that we all have to thank him, for what he did. He was a gret man. Nelson Mandela learnt me to appreciate minorities and to give a change to everyone. He made me believe in something, he made me believe that a change in better is possible and achievable.
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| 2016-01-26 | Samar 1984 | 60 | view |
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who in turn have the brave to change
who in turn are brave to change
Nelson Mandela learnt me to appreciate minorities
Nelson Mandela taught me to appreciate minorities
Sentence: They may be different from each others, although there are some common features that markedly characterize them.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and others
Sentence: He made the difference not only because his ideas were right and his cause true but also because he has been patient and motivated.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to cause and true
Sentence: I feel a truly simpathy towards him, because he spent his own life to service his people's and country's needs.
Error: simpathy Suggestion: sympathy
Sentence: He never dispered even in the most difficult situations.
Error: dispered Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: That journed has been a 40 years long struggle for him.
Error: journed Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: He was a gret man.
Error: gret Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 15 21.0 //More compound or complex sentences wanted.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 345 350
No. of Characters: 1583 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.31 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.588 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.466 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.89 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.478 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.243 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5