TPO 28 Q1 integrated writing
The reading passage provides three theories to support the claim that Peary traveled to the north pole. However, the professor says that there are no solid evidence that Peary reached the north pole and all the arguments mentioned in the passage are not convincing.
To begin with, the article posits that the investigation done by National geographic Society announced that Peary reached the north pole. On the other hand, the professor says that the investigation by the committee was not objective since the committee includes Peary close friends who contributed money to his trip. Also, the investigation took only two days so they did not have time to examine the records correctly and the results are biased.
Secondly, the author contends that Peary trip took 37 days, although, some skeptics think it is impossible to travel to the north pole with that fast. In addition, another explorer took the same track in less than 37 days. The professor, in contrast, explains that there are a lot of difference between Peary's and Avery's trips. He states that it is true that Avery used the same type of slides but with less weight as Peary moved with his food. Avery traveled in much convenient conditions, unlike Peary who traveled in very bad conditions. Therefore, there are too different between the two trips.
Finally, the reading asserts that the photographs taken by Peary make it possible to calculate the surf's position of the sun by measuring the shadows in Peary's photographs. The professor opposes this point by explaining that these photographs are not of proof since the technical scientist use unprecise ways and cannot establish the exact sun position. He states that Peary used a primitive camera which gave fuzzy pictures and they faded over time, also the shadow looks blurred. Thus, this argument cannot confirm that this photographs. were taken at the north pole.
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Comments
Just a question, is it right
Just a question, is it right to say" On the other hand, the professor refutes........." / " In contrast, the lecturer opposes......."
Yes, you do. They are both
Yes, you do. They are both correct. 'On the other hand' means 'however'.
Sentence: The professor opposes this point by explaining that these photographs are not of proof since the technical scientist use unprecise ways and cannot establish the exact sun position.
Error: unprecise Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Words: 312 250
Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 15 12
No. of Words: 312 250
No. of Characters: 1544 1200
No. of Different Words: 168 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.203 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.949 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.467 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.188 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.553 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4