Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Making unpaid cummunity service as one of a compulsory subjects in high school is a great news. There are therefore several reasons I believe that it is of the utmost importance that school should apply this subject.
Approaching social services is able to improve the quality of students’ social intelligent quotient in society and their everywhere environment. This intelligent can encourage sense of humanity for helping people. Resent studies from Queen’s University to 1000 teenagers, for instance, revealed that the sense of helping others self-esteem and brings natural happiness to people, and by doing charity for the ambient, or involving teaching younger age about sports tends to be the best way to approch students in high school. Humanly, I think it is a natural satisfaction on us while we could give hand to people around us.
High school age is the right time to enhance the capacity of complex relationships and environments. It is because students will be working with divers age and gender, and by doing with those people, students are likely to be cooperative persons in society. For example, when students should do charity, they should learn how to do team work, make planning and start the event well done with different people arround. I believe it is a valuable approch in the future job when children get adult.
In conclusion, I believe that social services in order to help people surround has an essential role in every student personal life, and it is a must to be made as compulsory subject in the school.
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This intelligent can encourage sense of humanity
This intelligence can encourage the sense of humanity
Sentence: Resent studies from Queen's University to 1000 teenagers, for instance, revealed that the sense of helping others self-esteem and brings natural happiness to people, and by doing charity for the ambient, or involving teaching younger age about sports tends to be the best way to approch students in high school.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to others and self-esteem
Sentence: Resent studies from Queen's University to 1000 teenagers, for instance, revealed that the sense of helping others self-esteem and brings natural happiness to people, and by doing charity for the ambient, or involving teaching younger age about sports tends to be the best way to approch students in high school.
Error: self-esteem Suggestion: self esteem
Error: approch Suggestion: approach
Sentence: For example, when students should do charity, they should learn how to do team work, make planning and start the event well done with different people arround.
Error: arround Suggestion: around
Sentence: I believe it is a valuable approch in the future job when children get adult.
Error: approch Suggestion: approach
flaws:
No. of Words: 257 350
better to have 5 paragraphs with more content, try this pattern:
paragraph 1: introduction. Your ideas/opinions here.
paragraph 2: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side A. First, ... Second, ...
paragraph 3: However, still I support side B. reason 1 + why reason 1 + example for reason 1 + a small conclusion for reason 1.
paragraph 4: In addition, reason 2 + why reason 2 + example for reason 2+ a small conclusion for reason 2.
paragraph 5: conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 257 350
No. of Characters: 1254 1500
No. of Different Words: 153 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.004 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.879 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.642 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 104 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.364 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.789 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.369 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.599 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5