Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion ? Use speciefic reasons and example to support your answer.
With the moderinization and globalization of the world, human make many activities that had damaged and benefited the Earth, and the human beings. Some people tend to agree that, human activity damaged the Earth, but others disagree. In my view, i agree that, human activity damaged the Earth for two important reasons.
The first reason is, pollution. Our world got polluted from cars and industries that are made by the humans, and that have a bad effects on the environment and the people themselves. For example, earlier this year, i read an article about the manufacturing of plastic bottles, and how plastics never decomposes and really destroy our planets. Even the repeated use of plastics have dangerous effect on the body health and different of cancers have occurred because of such plastics. This experience taught me that how the Earth is affected by the human activity.
Next, increasing the Earth tempreture. The overall increment of earth tempreture induced by human activity has increased , and this has several effects. For example, before a month ago, i was in New York. I did a research there about how increased the Earth temprature has endangered the ice glaciers in the poles to be melted, and if the current trend is going to be continued, cities like New York and Amesterdam would be flooded under water. As you can see how dangerous is increasing the Earth tempreture and we should avoid such thing to be happened.
All in all, though some may oppose that human activity harmed the Earth, others would agree because human activity produces pollution and increased the Earth tempreture. We should all researve the earth and make it a better place to live.
- TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO4 70
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Comments
We can figure out from the
We can figure out from the style of the introduction, to the second paragraph:
This experience taught me that how the Earth is affected by the human activity.
to the third paragraph:
As you can see how dangerous is increasing the Earth tempreture and we should avoid such thing to be happened.
to the conclusion.
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there is no problem to follow a pattern initially, but some users are doing the same thing. So you will need to keep this in mind and make some changes in the further writings.
human make many activities
humans make many activities
that have a bad effects
that have a bad effect
For example, before a month ago, i was in New York
For example, a month ago i was in New York
how increased the Earth temprature has endangered the ice glaciers
how the increased Earth temperature has endangered the ice glaciers
Sentence: With the moderinization and globalization of the world, human make many activities that had damaged and benefited the Earth, and the human beings.
Error: moderinization Suggestion: moderation
Sentence: Next, increasing the Earth tempreture.
Error: tempreture Suggestion: temperature
Sentence: The overall increment of earth tempreture induced by human activity has increased , and this has several effects.
Error: tempreture Suggestion: temperature
Sentence: I did a research there about how increased the Earth temprature has endangered the ice glaciers in the poles to be melted, and if the current trend is going to be continued, cities like New York and Amesterdam would be flooded under water.
Error: temprature Suggestion: temperature
Sentence: As you can see how dangerous is increasing the Earth tempreture and we should avoid such thing to be happened.
Error: tempreture Suggestion: temperature
Sentence: All in all, though some may oppose that human activity harmed the Earth, others would agree because human activity produces pollution and increased the Earth tempreture.
Error: tempreture Suggestion: temperature
Sentence: We should all researve the earth and make it a better place to live.
Error: researve Suggestion: reserve
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Words: 282 350
There is a pattern behind and there are some pattern sentences. You may gradually have your own writing style.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 19 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 282 350
No. of Characters: 1361 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.098 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.826 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.549 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 91 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.34 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.376 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.571 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.157 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5