Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions.
Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Today, we can say most of the athletic especially football player and celebrities have the highest salary in the world. Some people believe this salary is unfair and meanwhile other people do not agree with this idea.
In every branch of sports we have a lot of successful player. If successful sports players have quality to earn more money, so all of them should have high salary. Although, it does not happened in my country. In my country, football player earn money more than every athletics. It is true that successful sports player have to work hard to compete with each other, but other people in the world also work hard. Some people might argue that athletics do not work for whole life, they can play for maximum ten years, so the money they earn in for all life.
I agree this kind of the salary is unfair. In my opinion, in a society we have a lot of valuable jobs and people such as teachers, doctors, scientists. Salary of these people is very less than athletics. These people work hard for more than thirty years, but whole money that earn might be equal with one month's salary of a football player.
To sum up, In my opinion, every person deserves to have good salary whether is an athletic or not. Every person works hard to earn money so there must be a balance between all salary that professional people earn. All people that have important jobs such as a doctor or a teacher must have high salary than an athletic.
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Sentence: If successful sports player have quality to earn more money, so all of them should have high salary.
Suggestion: If successful sports players have quality to earn more money, so all of them should have high salary.
Sentence: In my country, football player earn money more than every athletics.
Description: The fragment player earn money is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace player with players
Sentence: It is true that successful sports player have to work hard to compete with each other, but other people in the world also work hard.
Suggestion: It is true that successful sports players have to work hard to compete with each other, but other people in the world also work hard.
To sum up, In my opinion, every person desert to have good salary whether is an athletic or not. Every person work hard to earn money ...
Suggestion: To sum up, In my opinion, every person deserves to have good salary whether is an athletic or not. Every person works hard to earn money
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Words: 262 350
No. of Characters: 1147 1500
No. of Different Words: 117 200
Need to remove some words like 'i think', 'i believe'..
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 262 350
No. of Characters: 1147 1500
No. of Different Words: 117 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.023 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.378 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.129 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 75 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 39 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 22 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 12 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.152 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.399 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.575 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.145 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5