If the university was going to invest money in supporting sport and social activities as much as investing money in classes and libraries, some students, I am sure, would agree that it is a great idea; others would disagree. In my opinion, sport and social activities are as important as classes and libraries and should recieve equal financial support from the univesity. Participating in sport and social activities will help students to learn life-skills, encourage students to stay healthy, and gain the opportunity of getting jobs after graduage.
First, sport and social activities provide students with great lessons in life-skills. Participating in sport and social activities students get to interact with people, learn to be cooperative and communicate with others. For example, when I was in university, I joined the student club, as a member of the club, I helped them raised money support different kind of projects. One of the project that taugh me a great life lessons was in the summer break, I volunteered as a teacher teaching childeren in a small school up in the mountain. I had to work as a team with other volunteers and people in the community. I have gained a lot of experiences of working with others, being cooperative, problem-solving skills, and practice communicate with others. These experience have taught me that social activities will definitely helps students learn valuable things in life and is as important as attening classes.
Another reason is that sport and social activities help students stay healthy. Life in university could be very stressful and difficult. In order to do well in university, students have to be mentally and physically prepared. Many students study hard and make excuses not to exercise regularly, so these students carry a lot of stress and have no way to release. Many times students try to cope their stress by using drugs and alcohol, some students ened up being alcoholic, some have depression disorder. The university I attended in my country pay attention to supporting student's sports activities. The university provids students with nice gyms in every dorm and it was very convenience. Having gym close by encoured me to exercise regularly in the morning before classes and I found out that exercising have helped me stay foucus on studying and my grades were incresed. If the university supports studen's sports activities, it will encourage many students to stay healthy and get away from stress and drug abuse problems.
Finally, participating in sport and social activities, students will gain experiences in working with people and improve their social skills, which are very important for working in the real world. Nowadays, many companies pay attention to hiring an employee who has profession knowledge and good social skills. Nobody wants to work with a person who is knowledgeable, but doesn't know how to communicate and socialized with team members. Sport and social activities in university provide students with opportunities to prepare themselves to be ready to work and give them more chance to get jobs after graduage. There is no doubt that sport and social activities will be beneficial for students in long term and should receive great financial support from the university.
In conclusion, even though some people may oppose this statement, at university, sport and social activities are as important as classes and libraries. Sport and social activities provide students with valuable life lessons, encourage students to stay healthy, and help prepare students to get jobs after graduage. Every university should give equal financial support to sport and social activities as classes and library.
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Participating in sport and social activities students get to interact with people,
Participating in sport and social activities, students get to interact with people,
By Participating in sport and social activities, students get to interact with people,
One of the project
One of the projects
will definitely helps students
will definitely help students
The university I attended in my country pay attention
The university I attended in my country pays attention
Sentence: In my opinion, sport and social activities are as important as classes and libraries and should recieve equal financial support from the univesity.
Error: univesity Suggestion: university
Error: recieve Suggestion: receive
Sentence: Participating in sport and social activities will help students to learn life-skills, encourage students to stay healthy, and gain the opportunity of getting jobs after graduage.
Error: graduage Suggestion: graduate
Sentence: One of the project that taugh me a great life lessons was in the summer break, I volunteered as a teacher teaching childeren in a small school up in the mountain.
Error: taugh Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: childeren Suggestion: children
Sentence: These experience have taught me that social activities will definitely helps students learn valuable things in life and is as important as attening classes.
Error: attening Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Many times students try to cope their stress by using drugs and alcohol, some students ened up being alcoholic, some have depression disorder.
Error: ened Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The university provids students with nice gyms in every dorm and it was very convenience.
Error: dorm Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: provids Suggestion: provide
Sentence: Having gym close by encoured me to exercise regularly in the morning before classes and I found out that exercising have helped me stay foucus on studying and my grades were incresed.
Error: foucus Suggestion: focus
Error: encoured Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: incresed Suggestion: increased
Sentence: Sport and social activities in university provide students with opportunities to prepare themselves to be ready to work and give them more chance to get jobs after graduage.
Error: graduage Suggestion: graduate
Sentence: Sport and social activities provide students with valuable life lessons, encourage students to stay healthy, and help prepare students to get jobs after graduage.
Error: graduage Suggestion: graduate
flaws:
A lot of sentences have subjects: 'students'.
Try not use personal experiences as examples.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 593 350
No. of Characters: 3038 1500
No. of Different Words: 249 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.935 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.123 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.777 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 232 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 176 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 132 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 86 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.963 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.968 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.407 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5