Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays a significant part of population adheres to the idea that sports and social activities do not play an appreciable role in tertiary education. From my vintage point of view, their stance seems to be questionable; the reasons on which my prospect is based will be discussed in details below.
Firstly, I would like to take a closer look at sports activities. Although some people claim that participation to sport during education at an university or a college is a waste of students' precious time, I cast doubt on this positon because sports activity plays a remarkable role in many different aspects of students' lives, for example, soccer, football, basketball and other games which assume playing within a team have a tremendously positive impact on the players psyche, self-esteem and even health. My claim is based on the idea that human beings are social animals and we as well as our predecessors have a profound need in interaction with other people, in participation to a group and taking a part in a team sport allows the participants to feel themselves as a part of the unity or a team, in fact, recent psychological studies have demonstrated that persons who participate to those sports have a lower level of anxiety, they are less prone to depression and other psychological problems. Consequently, giving equal financial support in order to maintain sport activities on a high level is quite reasonable.
Secondly, I would prefer to shed some light on social activities which should not be neglected as well. In fact, a university or a college is not only a place where students acquire new skills and knowledge but it is a place where they become grownups and this is a process which is required a social interaction between students of different ages, genders, specializations etc. Studying at university is aimed to turn a yesterday child into a mature and responsible citizen. At the beginning, a person who enrolls in an educational institution is, in fact, a youngster with a relatively insignificant life-experience, during education he or she has indispensable opportunity to pick up expertise from other more mature and experienced students, of course, the kind of experience shared may be different and it is a wise idea to try to control it. In order to be able to do it, such education institutions as colleges and universities ought to allocate an equal part of money on creation and control of social activities.
To wrap up, although a vast part of our contemporaries tends to underestimate the importance of sports and social activities, we have just discussed the crucial role of those activities in the process of students' education and socialization, in fact, any tertiary institution is not only a temple of knowledge but also a social institution which is responsible for creation of a next generation of citizens. Therefore, paying a fair share of money on creation and maintenance of the activities is reasonable.
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university or a college is not only a place where students acquire new skills and knowledge but it is a place
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
any tertiary institution is not only a temple of knowledge but also a social institution which is responsible for creation of a next generation of citizens.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: Although some people claim that participation to sport during education at an university or a college is a waste of students' precious time, I cast doubt on this positon because sports activity plays a remarkable role in many different aspects of students' lives, for example, soccer, football, basketball and other games which assume playing within a team have a tremendously positive impact on the players psyche, self-esteem and even health.
Error: positon Suggestion: position
flaws:
Don't repeat words, phrases and sentences:
activities do not play an appreciable role
sports activity plays a remarkable role in many different aspects
university or a college is not only a place where students acquire new skills and knowledge but it is a place
any tertiary institution is not only a temple of knowledge but also a social institution which is responsible for creation of a next generation of citizens.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 491 350
No. of Characters: 2422 1500
No. of Different Words: 240 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.707 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.933 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.131 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 172 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 75 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 40.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 25.207 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.575 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5