“Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding weather or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.”
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Couple marriage has to run harmoniously, but sometime separated-role occurs on it. This situation might hamper carrying children responsibility, as will now be explained.
Harmonies family operates bearing children by cooperative role. When deciding on the future of children, both discuss it together, and have equal responsibility to redeem child crying. Therefore, children should not intend in one role parent only, they could close with both. As the process of it, besides father has busy to work, he should manage a time to be with his children. In this case, bearing children responsibility would not burden mother with single-handed responsibility.
In other hand, separated–role would split children love. Where father’s role is only for earning money and mother’s role is carrying babies at home individually. This situation stimulates children to rely on their mother solely. As the result of it, father could absence on children trustworthy. Because children would spent much time with their mother than father. In addition, mother who being in charge of bearing children completely, it could withdraw father’s portion in home-family.
Admittedly, father works hard to earn money although he could not absence for carrying babies. If father join into motherhood, it fuels simultaneously love between children and parents. Journal of Indonesia Family reported that lot of families divorced because of lack of father’s intention thorough children activities. Father only focuses on his job and despite the important children’s agenda, such as: accompanying children to school, and attending kid’s school-match. To restrain this weakness, exchanging the role of children’s bearer is the best way to make harmonies family.
In conclusion, i guess assuming the mother bearing children personality is not the ideal family. Hence, unity of parent’s role stimulates to lovely family, where father and mother carry children together.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2013-03-11 | Fakron Jamalin | 73 | view |
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Sentence: As the process of it, besides father has busy to work, he should manage a time to be with his children.
Description: The fragment has busy to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace busy with adverb
Sentence: As the result of it, father could absence on children trustworthy.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to could and absence
Sentence: If father join into motherhood, it fuels simultaneously love between children and parents.
Description: The fragment father join into is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace join with verb, past participle
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.7 21.0 Need more compound or complex sentences.
Sentence Length SD: 3.913 7.5
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 294 350
No. of Characters: 1597 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.141 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.432 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.866 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.913 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5