A research describing the different number of post-school qualifications and its proportion based on gender was held in Australia in 1999. The research involved five kinds of education level.
At glance it can be explained clearly that males dominated in three education qualifications, that are, skilled diploma, post graduate diploma, and master’s degree. On the other hand, undergraduate diploma and bachelor’s degree were the education qualifications whose their percentages were dominated by females.
Apropos to the chart, there was a sharp difference related to the percentage between women and men taking vocational diploma. By 90% of vocational diploma were from males, only 10% was females. This condition happened in postgraduate where males in this qualification were more two folds than females. However, for undergraduate diploma, the percentage of women reached approximately 70%, while only around 35% was for men. In addition, there was a slight difference in bachelor’s degree where women with this qualification reached by 50%, and men were 45%.
In conclusion, for vocational school and postgraduate, men strongly dominated. After graduating from bachelor’s degree, males are more interested than females to continue their study in higher level.
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Sentence: On the other hand, undergraduate diploma and bachelor’s degree were the education qualifications whose their percentages were dominated by females.
Suggestion: something wrong with 'whose their' here.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 9
No. of Words: 160 200
No. of Characters: 881 900
No. of Different Words: 90 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.557 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.506 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.088 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 64 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 54 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 36 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.263 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.441 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.627 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4