The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
"On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The writer claims that a reduction from fifty per day to 25 per day, in the number of mopeds rented out annual by the Balmer Island's moped rental company would help the island achieve fifty percent annual reduction in moped accidents, similar to what was achieved by a neighboring community, called Seaville as a result of similar enforcements. While this argument may be true, the writer has failed to substantiate his point of views. Several questions need to be answered before this proposition can be adopted.
The writer failed to account for the number of accidents recorded by the island and the various means of transportation that recorded the accidents. Suppose mopeds never had any accident in the last two years, what would become of this proposal? Yet the argument may be valid if the author had established through reliable facts that the accidents that occurred were directly or indirectly caused by mopeds. The writer also fails to account for other means of transportation through which people can come into the island or leave.
If moped is the only means of transportation, the council would have to look at these claim critically. What is the population of the community? How many people leave the island on daily basis and how many come into the Island during in similar intervals? Will 25 mopeds per day be enough to commute these people? The writer needs to provide other information that would help analyse this recommendation.
To corroborate his argument, the writer points out the fact that a neighboring village implemented similar plan and it helped them reduce the accident rates by 50 percent. The fact that it worked for Seavile does not mean it will work for Balmer Island. The two communities may not have the same influx and exodus. While mopeds may not be the main source of transportation in Seavile where as it may be the case in Balmer Island. Also, mopeds may be the major source of accident in Seavile whereas in Balmer Island, it is the case.
The writer points out the fact that the population of the island increases by 100,000 during summer. How does this relate to the number of accidents in Balmer Island during the same period? Which period is the peak accident period in Balmer Island. The author of this article infers that the influx of people during this period gives rise to increase in the number of accidents during this period. However, he failed to quantify his measures and the source of the values he used to arrive at this assumptions.
Finally, the writer of this article failed to establish a valid link between the point raised in his article and the accidents that occur in Balmer Island. Except he is able to prove that the source of these accidents are chiefly mopeds, implementing these recommendations might hinder the development of Balmer Island. The fact that it worked for Seavile, does not necessarily mean it will work for Balmer.
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Sentence: How many people leave the island on daily basis and how many come into the Island during in similar intervals?
Description: The tag a preposition is not usually followed by in
Suggestion: Refer to during and in
Sentence: However, he failed to quantify his measures and the source of the values he used to arrive at this assumptions.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and assumptions
argument 2 -- not OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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Number of Paragraphs: 6 5