Using money reward to encourage students may sound reasonable and acceptable and it causes so many positive effects on children for the sake of get good marks. A simple recognition of the argument leads our discussion to a very indispensable question of how we can encourage children become more successful. I adhere to this belief that parents should support students by determining monetary to get a high score, for the reasons will be illustrate in subsequent paragraphs.
It goes without saying that almost all of the parents has studied at universities and have academic knowledge, so, they understand that education plays a prominent role in children's lives. As a matter of fact, parents pay more attention to their children's education by allocating finance as packet money for high scores. Furthermore, parents know that finding a good job and taking first place in the society as biologists, scientists, doctors and so on. All of these depend on the high efficiency of education in high schools and universities. To illustrate my point, I want to refer to a survey conducted by psychologists in Iran, who compared two groups of student for the sake of understanding student's motivation in educational system. They believe that students who have financial support for high scores, are more successful in their education comparing to the ones not having any rewards for doing so the student who do not have any rewards. As a result, students become more motivated to get high scores while parents allot money for such purpose.
Another vital reason is that getting money achieving high score can cause children become more responsible in their lives and spend most of their time studying. As a clarification, Most of the students who have high scores and are supported by parents, they collect money in the ways and think what they want and how they can purchase something. In other words, students for high scores, spend much time by labor work in harsh situation without any adequate sleeping, Therefore they know that the money which is received from their parents is so valuable. Take my nephew as an example, every semester, he gets high score in complex lessons such as mathematic and physic, so, his parent determine a gift for every high score, after that, he saves his money to purchase what he needs in the future such as buying a computer. Hence, students having financial support from their families, can arrange their programs to become prosperous in the future lives.
In conclusion, by considering all the reasons discussed above, I aver that parents should allocate money for high scores of children because of education's role in their future job and also because it can cause children more responsible. Consequently, children are very keen to get good scores and become more successful.
- TPO-17 - Integrated Writing Task In the past century, the steady growth of the human population and the corresponding increase in agriculture and pesticide use have caused much harm to wildlife in the United States,birds in particular. Unfortunately for b 76
- TPO-19 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news resources. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 70
- TPO-14 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 60
- TPO-16 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 70
- TPO-16 - Integrated Writing Task The United Kingdom (sometimes referred to as Britain) has a long and rich history of human settlement. Traces of buildings, tools, and art can be found from periods going back many thousands of years: from the Stone Age, t 86
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 36, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...hs. It goes without saying that almost all of the parents has studied at universities and...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 698, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...f student for the sake of understanding students motivation in educational system. They ...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, so, therefore, while, in conclusion, such as, as a matter of fact, as a result, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2354.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 465.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0623655914 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76241225993 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.483870967742 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 736.2 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 48.8549863226 48.9658058833 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.470588235 100.406767564 138% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.3529411765 20.6045352989 133% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.82352941176 5.45110844103 162% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.259044879401 0.236089414692 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100066303498 0.076458572812 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0442773336166 0.0737576698707 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.176309468061 0.150856017488 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0131220411504 0.0645574589148 20% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 11.7677419355 137% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 58.1214874552 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.64 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 86.8835125448 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 10.002688172 150% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.